You'll Be Okay

Chapter 6

On Saturday morning, I had to drag myself out of bed.

After showering and changing, I took off down the stairs with five minutes to get to community service. Mom was sipping coffee at the kitchen counter and looked up when she heard me. She frowned but I didn't give her a chance to speak.

"I'll be back by lunch."

"I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait?"

Unfazed, she set her coffee mug on the counter. "I know you're angry, Lex. But the world doesn't stop spinning when something terrible happens. You need to pull yourself together."

I scoffed. "I'm fine."

"We should have a proper conversation - I feel like I don't even know you anymore." For the briefest moment, she almost looked sad but then she smiled tightly, gesturing to the seat beside her. "Will you please sit down, Alexa?"

Alexa. I wanted to laugh.

"You never used to call me that. It was always just Lex."

Marina Patterson, who I knew to be the epitome of control, lost none of that now. Her perfect brows furrowed, expression unreadable but I could tell my words surprised her. It didn't matter because the damage was done the moment she distanced herself from her own daughter.

And it was all that took to convince me to deliver the final blow.

"I'm not ready for us to be on good terms," I said carefully. "I don't know if I'll ever be because when I felt like pure shit those first few months, you weren't there. You would rather spend nights at the office than come home and talk to your daughter. I'm not over that."

Then I walked out, unable to find the courage to look at her again. Inside my car, the tinted windows gave me a chance to regain my composure - which I did.

Maybe I wasn't being fair on her. Maybe it was harsh because she was grieving too. But it didn't stop me from wondering if she, like me, thought about Dad and Daniel every moment of every day. Wondering if she still felt the pain after all this time.

Wondering why I even gave a damn.

-

"No offence, but this sucks."

"It's community service, Tyler." Mr Creed handed each of us a black garbage bag and a pair of gloves. "This is temporary until we organize proper work."

"Does this school not care about my mental health?" Tyler insisted, holding out his bag in front of him and eyeing it suspiciously. "This servitude is destroying my self-esteem."

I took the plastic rubbish bags that Mr Creed was offering and passed one to a disgruntled Reid. My head was throbbing and I felt awful after the confrontation with my mother this morning but this group of drama queens was about to make it so much worse.

"I don't want to do this," Tyler insisted.

"Too bad." Mr Creed peered at him over the top of his round spectacles. "You have to learn to give back, Tyler. And don't joke about mental health, please."

"Fine, well this school is making a joke out of me." Tyler pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his pocket and put them on. "See, everyone is laughing at us! Ayo, is that Tyler Herro?"

"There isn't even anyone within a five mile radius."

As Tyler continued complaining and listing everyone on the Miami Heat roster that could stroll past at any moment, I trudged along the beach ahead of everyone else in hopes of drowning out his irritating voice. Soon enough, Dennis fell in step beside me.