PAUSE THE BEAT

chapter 2

"The body shuts down when it has too much to bear; goes on its own way quietly inside, waiting for a better time, leaving you numb and half alive." And that was what I felt.
It was all strange, like I was sleeping since ever, and having my lashes open was like the impossible mission I need to accomplish. Then voices echoed in my ear, some strange slow voices, maybe calling out my name.YES! They are calling Jasmine.
I am Jasmine Millarks, yesterday I was alive, but now, not so sure.
Then the impossible mission was accomplished and I opened my eyes.
White. This was all.
"Is this the after lif-"
I was cut in mid-thought when something, (or maybe someone?), lashed on me in a tight embrace.
"Thank goodness you're okay." I heard through sniffs.
You're.... okay? And then it hit me, the
voice belongs to my mother.
I shifted in my place realizing for
the first time that I'm sitting on a bed. Then, surveying the room, I saw my aunts Cathy and Amy, standing next to her, both having rivers of tears streaming down their faces.
I was still alive.
And I'm in a hospital.

However i was stoke with shock
When my eyes searched for my father and didn't get sight of his figure. Insteat, they caught two other eyes like bits of clear sky, in each was a star dissolved in the blue. Still attached to that face I asked, "where is dad? And, wh-who are you?"
"Sweetie, calm down. Everything's gonna be clear." My mom uttered these words with a huskiness that veiled a cry underneath, and a whole unbelievable tale...
My father died! My father the biggest jewelry merchant in the state is now dead!
The fact stabbed me in the bosom. You know, its me who was supposed to be gone, to be beneath the ground,with soil splattered on my corpes, and Amens blessing my dark soul.
The most painful goodbyes are the ones that are never heard and never explained, exactly as I aimed to do, but the curse had been reversed on the enchanter.
But those we love don't go away, they walk beside us every day, unheard, unseen but always near, still loved, still missed, and very dear.
Honey, don't get frustrated it's bad for your health. Please babe, for me."
"That's none of your business. Plus, who exactly are you?"
I didn't fire these back but intended to. I didn't because of further feedback that stranger implied in his speech, "while you were sleeping in that unending night, I saw pain in your closed eyes, I couldn't say anything, I couldn't take your agony away, so I kept on saying in my head, ' I am sorry, sorry, ..."
"But who ar-"
"Dear, it will take a little time but we're gonna explain everything as soon as you get well and get out of the hospital," my mother stated.
And then I heard aunt Cathy saying, "the doctor infirmed us that you're gonna leave tomorrow."
"Jasmine, we'll leave you to now to sleep a little,it's hitting midnight anyways," that was aunt Amy in her tender voice that I missed so much. Mom kissed me goodbye and the
still unknown guy gave me a hug before leaving. Both aunts followed them waving their hands at me.
My aunts. I didn't realize how much I miss them until this moment. They both live in the country side along with my grandmother. Actually used to live there too, but when he married mom they kinda moved to the city side.

Dad. How can you die within a single day? Yesterday you were just beside me, having dinner like a regular family. Well... not so regular because of my stupid suicide attempt. I wish that I have lived that extra day with you. I wish that I didn't choose to kill myself. It was so crazy of me.
I could feel hot tears sliding down my cheeks and wetting the pillow underneath, and I just wanted to stop thinking about everything, but I couldn't.
'I wish that I have Amnesia just so I could forget all that happened.' That was my last thought before I drifted into a dreamless but nonetheless tiresome sleep.

I woke up at 10 in the morning, and though having slept for nearly 10 hours I wasn't refreshed at all. Still thinking about my father, I went to the bath room to wash my face, only to be shocked at the sight of a slash in my forehead and a bandage on top of my head.
A slash?? How come? I didn't attempt to kill myself by stabbing my head. Or shooting it. I took pills. Only. How could I have a slash in my head?
Immersed in deep thought, I probably didn' hear the door knocking because when I exited the bathroom, the boy from yesterday was sitting on my bed.
"Good morning. I knew you'de be awake by now, you always wake up around nine or ten."
"How do you know?" It came out abruptly without even thinking for a moment.
"Well, I didn't believe the doctor when he said it, but it seems true now."
"What seems true now?"
"That... that you've had a memory loss..."
"What?! What do you mean a memory loss?! I can still remember everything so clearly."
"Can you recognize me? Can you remember how you father died years ago? Can you remember what happened after your suicide attempt?"
"What do you mean? I-I don't understand a word you're saying."
"That' because you apparently have a memory loss. I'm sorry to be the one that'll break the bad news for you, but you're mother couldn't make herself do it. It appears that you can remember everything up until the day of your suicide." He stopped for a few seconds before going again, "five years ago you planned to kill yourself by taking a full sheet of pills. It was a successful attempt until you're aunt Cathy arrived at your house to inform you parents of some news I'm not allowed to know. Back then she asked to see you,and although it was night, you parents went to wake you up. That's when they realized something is wrong, so they immediately took you to a hospital. In other words,your life has been saved."
He looked at me waiting for a signal to continue, and I nodded my head.