My Life Without Her

-Her-

We were all currently back at Dinah and Andrew's house, for a barbecue to be exact. Dinah thought it would be a fun idea since we'd all gotten along so well at the sleepover; the boys were really getting along as well, which made me feel a little bad for Nate because he was missing out on this, but he was doing his movie, so I guess it's okay.

"Want some help?" I heard a voice behind me, startling me and causing me to squeal in surprise, nearly dropping the cups in my hand as I turned around to face Lucas who only smirked at me "Scare you?" I huffed in annoyance and handed him some of the cups, my phone buzzed in my shorts pocket, so I reached out for it, pressing the answer button as I brought it up to my ear

"Hello?" I asked and immediately frowned, since I heard sobbing on the other end of the line; I hadn't checked to see who had called, so I glanced at my phone and saw it was my mom "Mom?" I said, worried as I put the cups down on the counter, Lucas looked at me intently "W-What's going on?" I said as my mouth started to feel dry and I was starting to sweat; there's only one reason she would be calling in such state "W-Where's dad?" I whispered and her sobs increased as I felt my eyes water as they filled with tears, I turned away from Lucas when a tear fell from my eyes "Mom?" I croaked "Please tell me."

"H-He h-had a he-heart attack." She stuttered and I gripped onto the couch since I suddenly felt light headed as I pressed my hand to my forehead, squeezing my eyes shut tightly; I felt someone grip my arm softly and I blinked as I glanced in that direction and saw Lucas' eyes

"What happened?" He asked "You look pale." He whispered and I pressed down a sob as I brought my hand up to my mouth as more tears fell from my eyes, he reached out for me but I took a couple steps back

"Mom, please." I whispered "Is he okay? W-what happened?" I breathed as I inhaled deeply, feeling even more light-headed and dizzy "Tell me something." I muttered, the last thing I heard before fainting was...

"H-He didn't m-make i-it."

*********

Everything was blurry when I started opening my eyes, I grumbled slightly and saw a figure sitting at the end of my bed

"Lucas?" I whispered, his head snapped up from the floor and rushed to my side, touching my forehead and sighing softly as he casted his head downwards

"You scared the shit out of me." He breathed as he ran his hands through his hair with a heavy sigh "How are you feeling?" He asked softly and I frowned

"What happened? Why did I faint?" I asked and he looked at me with a sad expression

"Your dad had a heart attack." He whispered, looking deeply into my eyes as I felt my breath get caught at my throat as I sobbed loudly, suddenly remembering everything. My mom had called me and was crying hysterically and when she broke the news, I fainted. "He... he didn't make it." I sobbed loudly into my hands, shaking violently.

How could this be? My dad for crying out loud! The man who used to take me to the park every Sunday and carry me on his shoulders as I happily ate an ice cream cone, not caring if the melted part dribbled on his hair and made it sticky. The man who wanted something different than what I wanted for myself but learned to live with his decision because it made me happy and because he loved me.

And now he wad gone.

And I didn't even get to say goodbye. Or tell him how much I loved him.

"Do you want me to get Dinah?" He asked softly as he stood up, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly, I tried to control my whimpers as I shook my head and croaked

"No." I whispered and he nodded before backing away slightly, but I reached my hand out to him and he looked at me confused "Stay." I croaked, he blinked twice before coming over and sitting on my bed

"Why?" He whispered softly as he looked me in the eyes "Why do you want me to stay?"

"Because..." I sighed before wiping a tear with the back of my hand "you understand what it feels like." I breathed shakily and gulped before erupting in sobs again, he wrapped his arms around me, kissing my hair as he whispered soothing words in my ear

"Shh... Angel, please." he whispered as I buried my face into his chest as I soaked his shirt with my tears "Please stop crying." he whispered before cupping my face so I could look him in the eye, his face was blurry due to my tears, so I blinked and they fell but he wiped them away with him thumb as he stroked my back softly as I sniffled every now and again, tears falling from my eyes silently as he looked at me with a pained expression "What can I do? How can I help you?" he asked softly and I rested my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close

"How did you do it?" I whispered softly and he looked at me with a confused expression "How did you..." I breathed deeply as a silent tear rolled down my cheek "I can't bear it... it hurts Luke." I sobbed as I clutched onto his shirt and his grip on me tightened

"I know it does, Angel." he whispered softly as I felt him kiss my head "I know it does." he repeated "But you want to know something?" he asked softly and I looked at him with teary eyes as I sat up and he followed "You're the strongest person I've ever known..." he said with a faint smile as he tucked a strand of hair behind my ear "so I know you'll be okay." I chuckled dryly as I shook my head

"That's where you're wrong." I said as I grabbed a kleenex from my nightstand and blew my nose "I'm not the strongest; you are." he looked down and then after a few seconds lifted his gaze and he smiled sadly at me, pulling me into a hug "What I've been through is nothing compared to you." I said, my voice cracking slightly at the end "You know that."

"It doesn't hurt any less." he said with a shrug and I sighed deeply before nodding as I looked down

"Yeah." I croaked and then covered my face with my hands as I cried harder, he stroked my back softly and I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me

"Do you want me to get Dinah?" he whispered softly and I nodded slightly, he sighed before pulling away and kissing my forehead, wiping the tears from my face "You'll get through this, Angel."

"I hope so."