6 - Regret

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We all had our first day in Los Angeles off so Hayes and I decided to go to the beach. It would be our first real "date" since we showed we kissed. I was sitting on my towel on the sand while Hayes was playing football with some guys he just met. I closed my eyes and just started thinking.

I have no friends. I'm not homeschooled and summer just started but yet I have no one to share it with. Hayes is my friend but ever since I kissed him the friend label is off the table. I'm friends with Alyssa but she's always with Jonah and I'm always with Hayes... or at least for the past days that's how it's been. I like Hayes and he's really nice but everything is happening so fast.

I don't want to spend the rest of my summer with a guy that I might not even be with in a year. I don't know where this is coming from but I feel trapped. I feel like I'm screaming but no one can hear me. I feel like since I kissed him everything changed.

I looked at him while he was playing and felt regret. I think I just liked the idea of him and I didn't really like him. Alyssa was right. I only knew him for a few days and I started kissing him. I'm already getting hate for it on Twitter. I feel like I'm betraying his fans by being with him.

Hayes POV:
I started playing football with some guys I met on the beach when I was with Audrey. I stepped out after five minutes to think. I felt weird thinking about everything that has happened in the past days. We didn't really move that fast because we talked for a little bit and then we got romantic. I looked at Audrey laying on her towel and felt bad. I didn't know how much she liked me. I thought I liked her but I wasn't sure.

I realized that I had to do something to ensure that I really liked Audrey and it wasn't a phase. I grabbed her hand and took her under the Santa Monica Pier.

I pulled her close and her eyes looked watery, but I didn't question it. We kissed for a minute and pulled away. She hugged me and took me to a nearby bench.

"Let's take this slow. I just don't feel comfortable having a boyfriend right now." She said looking at the ground. She didn't make eye contact with me.

"What do you mean by 'take this slow'?"

"I think we should just be friends, at least for now. We just started touring and we're going to meet new people so I don't want either of us to feel tied down. We both need to stay friends but we can date other people. If we want to we can get ba-".

"We? You mean you. If your saying that you want space then just say it. I can't force you to like me. You want to date other people and it's none of my business. Now that we're just friends, I can tell you that I met a girl while I was playing football and I think I'm gonna ask her out." I said as I got up and walked away. I didn't wanna come off rude but I didn't want her to feel pity for me. Maybe this was for the best. Maybe if the girl I met goes out with me it'll show Audrey what she's missing.

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