The one he loves to hate

14. Hide and seek

Three months later...

"Hanggang kailan kayo ganyan?" 

Gustong iyuko ni Lex ang kanyang ulo habang nakatingin kay Rika. Rika was The Pastels manager and she's boiling mad right now. Hindi naman niya masisisi ito kung nagagalit ng ganoon, kahit naman siya ay parang gusto niyang magalit sa kanyang sarili. Rika was just doing her job on keeping them together as a band lalo na ngayon, Kerky left the band at hindi niya alam kung babalik pa ang kaibigan niya. 

Isang buwan na ang nakalipas nang iwan ni Kerky ang The Pastels, tulad ni Caleb ay sinusubukan niyang pabalikan ito pero parang ang hirap ayusin ng sitwasyon. He sighed. For the past months, napakarami nang nagbago. Isa na siya doon. 

"Ano bang problema mo, Calen? Are you going to fight everybody? If you have some attitude problems then go fuck yourself not your band!"

He looked at Calen. Hindi niya maintindihan ang nangyayari sa kaibigan. He seemed out of this world for the past months, isa si Calen sa mga dahilan kung bakit umalis si Kerky sa banda, he was always asking Calen kung anong problema nito pero hindi naman siya nito sinasagot. All he knew was because of Calen's attitude, unti-unting nasisira ang samahan nila. 

"Hanggang ngayon ba ako pa rin ang sinisisi ninyo sa pag-alis ni Kerky? It's not my fault!" sabi pa nito. Umiling siya. 

"Can we please just skip this part?" nagsalita na si Caleb. Tiningnan niya ang magkapatid. Halatang naiinis pa rin si Calen kay Caleb. He wondered what's up with these two. 

"Until further notice, Calen is suspeneded. This meeting is over." Rika walked out. Napabuntong hininga siya. Hinarap niya ang magkapatid. 

"Ano bang problema ninyo?" 

"Ako wala, pero mukhang si Calen meron." 

"Oh yeah! I am the only problem here in this room! Fuck! Can't you see? Kerky left the band for that Freaky Hanna girl! Gusto niyang baguhin ang sarili niya para sa babaeng iyon, Caleb was always distracted because of Ms. Japan and you, Lex, you're depressed just because Keith doesn't want you in her life! Nagkakaleche-leche ang pangarap nating lahat dahil sa mga babae ninyo!" 

"Gago ka! Kung may problema ka huwag mo akong idamay!" Napatayo siya. How dare him tell the things that he's been denying. Anong karapatan ni Calen para ipamukha sa kanya na ayaw sa kanya ni Keith?

Naikuyom niya ang kanyang palad. Tatlong buwan, ganoon na katagal noong huli niyang nakita si Keith. Hanggang ngayon ay hindi siya makapaniwala na umalis siya. He fought hard for her not to let him go but she was too stubborn. He couldn't stand the fact that she believes the idea that what they had or how they started was wrong. 

Para sa kanya ay hindi naman ganoon iyon. Kung anuman ang naramdaman niya noong magkasama sila ni Keith, naramdaman niya iyon dahil sa tingin niya ay gusto rin niya. 

Mahal niya si Keith. 

He was just too scared of telling her that.

Oo, siya na ang tanga. 

Keith had already told him how she felt pero siya ang hindi nagsalita. He wanted her but at the same time he was scared of her. He wanted to spend the remaining moments of his life loving her but he doesn't have the guts to tell her that. 

Kulang ang sabihin na sinayang niya ang panahon, pero huli na. Huli na para magsisi pa siya dahil nawala na sa kanya ang babaeng sana ay mamahalin niya. 

"Damay-damay na nga tayo diba? Our dreams were being ruined by the women of your lives! Noong una si Caleb, tapos si Kerky, tapos ikaw? I really don't give a damn if you couldn't breathe without those women, pero gumising na kayo, nawawala ang pangarap natin dahil sa kanila!"