The Billionaire's Daughter [ProfxStud • GxG]

Chapter 37: The Night We Met

Freyja Marie Tan

*10 years ago..

They said that when you're about to die, flashbacks of happy memories would play before your eyes. You'll go way back to the happiest ones, and you'll realize how beautiful and lovely they were. Then, you'll feel that it's okay. I was happy when I heard about this, because I thought about it. It is sad that you'll die, but at least replays of your most cherished memories will be there for you. It's like a parting gift that life has given to its most beloved: death. And you're the messenger of those two.

But something has changed the way I look at it now. I don't want to believe anything from anyone. Everyone is a liar.

How much hate does this universe have for me that I had to witness you bathing in blood as you struggled to breathe? It's odd that I know this pain, but the pain seen in your face was different. It was not from the knife you used to cut yourself, but from somewhere I can't pinpoint. You smiled at me as you tried to reach for my hand, but that smile was the most painful I've ever seen.

Why can't you just take me with you? I wish I was good enough so you'd never leave me. I hate this place. I hate everyone. Do you hate me too, just like everyone here? That's why you left?

You're so unfair.

*toktoktok*

"Nak, gising ka na ba? Lumabas ka na riyan at para makapag-almusal ka na."

I wish this were just a nightmare and you'd wake me up with a hug. Could you please tell me this isn't real? Come back to me, please. I swear I'll be good. I'll do anything. Just please, come back.

*toktoktok*

"Iha, Freyja. Inaantay ka na dun ng daddy at kapatid mo, sabay daw kayo mag-almusal. Anak, buksan ko to–JUSKOOO! JOCELYN TULONGGG!!"

I've always wondered what pain feels like when you do it yourself. I thought it would be more awful, but this was bearable. It only gives me hazy vision. Is this how you felt back then?

"Manang, anyare ba– "

"Kunin mo yung medkit sa cabinet, bilis!"

"E-eto po"

"Jusko! Anak naman, akin na yang kutsilyo na yan, hmm? Tama na."

"Manang lagot na naman yan pagmalaman ni Sir. Kakagaling lang nang sugat niyan–"

"Jocelyn, tumahimik ka."

"S-sorry po."

"Nak, andito na si yaya, tahan na."

"Manang, ilang linggo na yang hindi nagsasalita. Naiiyak na talaga ako sa batang to."

"Nak, akin na yang kamay mo at gamutin na natin. Maawa ka na 'nak sa sarili mo."

"Frey, gusto mo ipasyal ka ni Ate s-sa park? Lalaro tayo dun tapos kain tayo street food."

These people felt for me, but did they feel yours too? Have you ever thought of me while you were also doing it? Have you ever thought that it would make me feel this way too?

"Yaya, what's happening here?" I heard my brother asking from the front door.

"Naku, 'nak Richie. Saglit lang at sasabay na ang kapatid mo."

"Don't make Daddy wait." He stared at me with his eyes glaring uninterestingly.

I don't really want to bother anyone with what I do. I just want it to end, but I always end up being a burden to this family. However, doing this is the only kind thing I know to ease my guilt. My thoughts are in chaos, but my heart says this makes sense. I wish they'd understand and just let me go.