Yesterday 🖤

April 27- Confessed.

As Thomas and I sat together on the porch, the weight of my secret suffocating the air, I knew it was time to rip off the bandage and reveal the truth.

"Sarah," he began, his voice soft yet filled with emotion, "there's something I need to tell you."

My heart skipped a beat at the seriousness in his tone, and I braced myself for what was to come. "What is it?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Taking a deep breath, Thomas reached out to take my hand, his touch sending a shiver down my spine. "I love you, Sarah," he said, his words hanging in the air between us like a fragile promise.

A bitter laugh escaped my lips, bitter with the truth I couldn't deny. "You can't," I replied, my words laced with the ache of a heart about to break.

Confusion clouded his face. "Why say that?" he urged.

"It's pointless," I murmured, barely audible.

Thomas's gaze remained fixed on mine. "I want to understand," he insisted gently.

"It's pointless, Thomas. Loving me is pointless."

"Why?" Thomas's eyes pleaded for an answer, his voice desperate.

"Just go, Thomas, please," I pleaded, my frustration mounting with each passing moment.

"Why?" His voice was insistent, refusing to let me retreat into the darkness.

"Just go!" I screamed, the weight of my confession crushing me under its weight.

And as Thomas stood there, his presence a silent testament to the love we shared, I knew that no matter how hard I pushed him away, he would always be there, a beacon of light in the darkness that threatened to consume me.

"Sarah, please," Thomas's voice was a soft plea, filled with a depth of emotion that mirrored my own. "I just want to know. I can't help you if you close your heart like that."

  Tears welled up in my eyes as I struggled to find the words. With a scream of frustration, I tore off the beanie, revealing the truth I had hidden for so long. "Because of this," I choked out, my voice breaking as I ran my fingers through my thinning hair. "Because I have cancer."

"Sarah, i -" his voice trailed off as I turned away, unable to bear the pain in his eyes any longer. With a sob, I stumbled to my feet and fled inside,  slamming the door behind me.

But Thomas refused to give up. "Sarah, please," he pleaded, his voice breaking with the weight of his love. "Let me in."

"Go away," I cried, my voice muffled by the door. "Let me die . I'm fading away anyway. "

"Sarah, please," Thomas's voice pleaded from the other side of the door.

Tears welled up in my eyes, my heart torn between the agony of letting him in and the fear of pushing him away. "I can't, Thomas," I whispered, my voice barely audible.

A soft sob escaped him, the sound breaking my resolve. "Please, Sarah," he begged, his voice shaking. "Let me love you."

But the weight of my secret was too heavy to bear, crushing me under its relentless grip. "Go away, Thomas," I choked out, the words tasting bitter on my tongue. "Just go away."

As the silence settled around us, punctuated only by the sound of my ragged breaths, I knew that this was a battle I couldn't afford to lose.

That night was torture. Every tear that fell felt like another piece of me crumbling away. I couldn't stop the thoughts from swirling in my head, each one more painful than the last.

"Why did I have to tell him?" I thought, the weight of my confession pressing down on me like a ton of bricks. "He'll never look at me the same way again."

And then there were the doubts, the relentless voices that whispered in the darkness, tearing me down piece by piece. "You're not worthy of love," they taunted. "No one will ever want you."

I tried to push them away, but they just got louder and louder, drowning out everything else. It was like they were suffocating me, wrapping around me like a heavy blanket, dragging me down into darkness. And no matter how hard I tried to fight back, they always seemed to win in the end.