This is a mostly Alastor focused fic, where the plot goes by the shows plot but in the perspective of Radioapple. I'll try to make them as in character as possible I promise 😭.
A/N: Rosie and slight gore warning :3 (you can probably tell where they're going.)
"Why the fuck are we going to cannibal town?" *Lucifer complains.*
"Well since his majesty couldn't choose, I thought we'd visit an old friend of mine, So I can deal with someone I can tolerate." *Alastor says in a snarky tone.*
*him and Lucifer were walking to cannibal town to meet a friend of Alastor's. Lucifer was not fond of this idea, not because he was scared, he could end any demon possible just by lifting a finger. He was more disturbed at the fact that these were literal cannibals, what if he gets hungry or something? What if he sees someone's guts just casually on the ground? The thought made him want to throw up.
*why was Alastor bringing him here anyway? Did he think he was that weak to get eaten by a cannibal, he thought.*
"Well I just don't see how this will help with trust exactly."
"Oh I really don't care" *Alastor says bluntly.* "Wha- then why? What's the point of this then?" *Lucifer stammers.* "Look, you and me will never get along so we might as well pretend for Charlie's sake." *Alastor says with an annoyed expression.* "That's about the smartest thing I've ever heard you say." *Lucifer snaps back at him.*
"Ah yes, as if you'd say anything smart in your life ever." *Alastor glances at Lucifer while saying this.*
"I fucking hate you." "Thank you!" *Alastor says with a shit eating grin.*
*the rest of the way they're either walking in silence while glaring at each other or constantly bantering.*
**insert argument 1** "Why do you walk so fucking loud"-Lucifer
"Why are you so short."- Alastor
"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY-"
**insert argument 2** "Stop staring at me it's impolite" -Alastor
"Everything you've said to me is considered impolite and disrespectful."-Lucifer
"Well I'm sorry I don't respect all my elders."-Alastor
"IM NOT THAT OLD"-Lucifer
"YOU'RE LITERALLY EONS OLD YOU GRANDPA?!"-Alastor
"You don't have to remind me.." *sniff*-Lucifer
"Aww im sorry.." "WOMP WOM-" -Alastor
*Lucifer slaps Alastor.*
**insert argument 3*
"Radios or Tv?" -Alastor
"Radio, Tv rots the brain" -Lucifer
"Hm, interesting.."-Alastor
"How is that interesting-?" -Lucifer
"Your brain seems pretty rotten so I thought you'd choose tv." -Alastor
"I CHOSE YOUR SIDE WHAT THE HE-" -Lucifer
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