CHAPTER 12: PAIN
When I heard his words, it felt as if time had stopped between us. My heart clenched, my body trembled and all I could hear was the crackling sound of the hearth.
The image of an innocent boy flashed in my mind, his hands were waving, and he was smiling, until he turned his back and ran. I thought I gave him life— freedom and happiness, but I gave him death.
"D-dead? Are you sure?"
Hindi siya agad sumagot si Kreios sa akin, sa halip ay mas binigyan niya ng pansin ang hawak niyang libro kung saan naroon ang kanilang litrato. He walked towards his cabinet and placed the book inside.
"Kreios . . ."
He returned to me. He sighed before he took both of my hands, the metallic sounds of the chain clanked inside our room.
"He's a friend. Desmond, Livius, and I had our adventures when we were young, and then. . ." he trailed off.
"B-but how. . .? How did you meet?" I asked.
But should I really get confused? Livius had been friendly, not just with me but to every commoner child we've encountered.
"Paano kayo nagkakilala ni Livius? He's a commoner."
Agad kong hinila ang mga kamay ko kay Kreios. "I had my own set of adventures, Kreios. Ano ang tingin mo sa akin? Hindi nagkakaroon ng kaibigan?"
His brows creased. He shook his head. "I was just trying to be real. You're a princess and Livius is a commoner who practically spent all his life with us."
"No . . . he used to be my friend and he delivers fresh fruits to the castle. How did it happen? He was my childhood friend! Bakit?" Nalilitong tanong ko.
Saglit lang ako tinitigan ni Kreios bago siya nag-iwas ng tingin. "We were still young, and naïve. We thought that everything was easy with the three of us together. But life after we left Sartorias was not as we expected."
Kreios was deliberately avoiding answering me directly. I asked him the details!
Nanghina akong napaupo sa kama. "Kreios, I was the one who pushed him to leave. I thought I'd given him freedom and happiness. He was convinced to serve the empire, but I pushed him to leave— to take the choice that would make him happy."
I couldn't imagine their life together— Desmond a kid who was forced to hide because of the accusations thrown at her mother, Livius as a commoner who wanted to break free of the norm, and Kreios who didn't want to accept his fate as the grandson of the most respected council in the empire.
"He was happy. I can tell you that he never regretted his decision to run away. Wala kang kasalanan . . ." humina ang huling mga salita ni Kreios.
Saglit akong sumulyap sa kanya. Gusto ko pang higit na pag-usapan si Livius at ang nakaraan niya kasama si Desmond, ngunit sa nakikita ko ay hindi komportable si Kreios sa usapang ito.
Something was not right, and he didn't want to share it with me. And I'd respect it.
"So, what happened?" I purposely changed the topic.
His face brightened a bit, an indication that wasn't really comfortable about Livius. "Now you're curious about my empire's affair?"
"Hindi ba dapat? Hindi ba't ikaw na rin ang nagsabi sa akin na dapat magsimula na akong makinig sa pagpupulong na dinadaluhan mo?"
He nodded.
I grasped the dangling golden chain against one of my wrists, its metallic clank echoed inside the room. "When are you going to get rid of this? Are you literally letting me stay in your castle with chains? This is not being a queen, but your prisoner."
