you don't own me - the last kingdom

off

...

walking in the direction hild had said, i spotted the river after a few minutes. small, secluded and calm. perfect for a quick wash.

despite danes priding themselves in remaining clean, a slave i hadn't been able to wash often. i washed more often than other slaves, since rolf requested it. but even then i could never fully wash the dried blood from my skin, nor could i wash away the deep purple bruises that littered my body. some days i was glad to not wash, just so i wouldn't have to look at myself any longer than i needed to.

but now, i was going to. one final goodbye to rolf and all his stupid men. i stripped off my dress, leaving me in only my thin shift, and entered the water. i submerged myself fully then resurfaced and began to scrub at myself with my fingernails to rid my body of any grime and blood from the abuse i had endured.

the water wasn't deep enough to swim, although i would have liked to. swimming had always relaxed me, ever since i had learned as a small child. my father said i must learn, otherwise i'd drown in the sea while he wasn't watching. lucky for him i was a quick learner and there would never have been a chance of me being taken by the sea. the water was my home and it welcomed me with open arms every time. it didn't hurt me like people did and i could easily stay afloat.

i stayed in the river for some time. but i was brought back to reality by the fact that uhtred, halig and hild probably had somewhere to be and were waiting for me. or maybe they weren't. maybe uhtred had been repulsed by a girl like me, too broken to be fixed, and they'd gone.

i quickly exited the river and squeezed all the water i could from my shift. i didn't want to have more chance of catching a cold, but the weather was relatively warm and the sun was rising high in the sky and so i figured it would dry soon enough. i pulled my dress over my head and made my way back to the others.

they were stood by three horses i hadn't noticed before and looked up expectedly at me.
'sorry' i said 'i needed to wash desperately, i needed the water'

'it's okay' uhtred replied 'we need to leave now, we can't risk those danes finding you and we are heading north anyways'

i smiled. he did care.

'do you have anyone to take care of you? anywhere to go?' he asked.

'no' i murmured 'no one left and my village was burnt to the ground'

'then you must stay with us' hild insisted 'it would be much safer for you'

i breathed in deeply, practically beaming. i was ready to leave my life as a slave behind. i was ready to forget i ever new the name rolf. but something in the back of my head told me it wasn't going to be that easy.

'one slight problem lord' halig said 'there are only 3 horses'

'i can walk, i don't even know how to ride' i inisted.

'nonsense, you must share with one of us. your choice who of course' uhtred replied.

i stared at the 3 and their respective horses. hild was the obvious choice, she was a woman and trustworthy, but her horse was small and i didnt trust it not to collapse with both of us riding.

halig was nice enough and i knew he meant well, but he seemed talkative and awkward, i couldn't handle that at the moment.

that left me with uhtred. his horse was large and his grip strong so i wouldn't fall. but he was a man. i reasoned with myself that he wouldn't hurt me - he had tried to comfort me for gods sake! and i had pushed him away.