851
E
“Leave.” I told him.
My voice trembled so much that I felt the cords ring in my throat. All of my built-up resentment for him, amplified by the deep internal conflict I harbored about Jerome’s imploration to leave the house that tortured us since we were children, the whole bookstore that we’ve made a home of teetering on the edge of hopelessness, and the dire circumstances of Mr. Pascal’s rapidly deteriorating health all hung by a thread above me and just collapsed over my skull the moment that I saw Reiner's figure, the very instant that I heard his voice.
“E, come on. Let me explain.” He pressed, lowering the large box he was carrying to the floor gently before walking around to enter the counter. I stepped back, putting a hand up in abrupt motion.
“Stop, Reiner.” I said, avoiding his pleading gaze. “Do not come any closer to me. Just take your things and leave.”
I wasn’t sure if I meant it, that I wanted him to leave– but I was so angry and indignant at the fact that he was gone for weeks, without telling me where he was, without even giving me a word except for that one rushed note that morning; sentencing me to what felt like an eternity of anxiety and dread. He trapped me in a constant state of worrying myself to insomnia about whether or not he was safe and whether or not he cared about me and whether or not he was about to abandon me completely.
“Baby, I know that what I did was a very irresponsible thing–”
“I think you mean unforgivable.”
“Unforgivable?” Reiner echoed, his tone increasing in frustration. “How could you decide so easily without listening to me first?”
“What explanation could you offer now that would take back all those weeks of constant dread?” I said, trying to keep my shaking voice level. I turned back to my work, arranging the paper bags and packaging boxes under the counter. “You couldn’t even put in a single word. Or make a damn call! At least to tell me that you’re safe and that you–”
“I hated that I had to keep it all a secret, but I–”
“And you told me,” I almost yelled, throwing some ledgers to the table in exasperation. He scrambled to catch them before the pages got flayed by the recklessness I displaced from my hot veins. “You told me that nobody else knew where you lived. You didn't have a phone at your apartment. How could you have left so early for work? Somebody from work went to your house? Or is ‘work’ just code for something else?!”
He turned to me with the same apologetic face, his eyes turning softer and softer. “I know I said that, I–”
“And I called you at the HQ. Several times.” I said, bending down to get a box of newly-delivered books. Reiner crouched down immediately to get it before my hands even touched the large package. “And the one time someone actually picks up? Do you know who answered the damn phone in your blasted room?”
Reiner shook his head nervously, a jitter so characteristic of a little boy.
“Another woman!” I finally yelled, striding past him towards the shelves where the new books were supposed to be taken. He followed me, carrying the box with him, knowing this chore like the back of his hand as we have worked so many times together in this shop. But at that very moment of sheer irritation, I did not notice at all. I just wanted to get the job done, get him to listen to my ranting, and get him to leave when it was over.
YOU ARE READING
Right Where You Left Me | Reiner Braun
Fanfiction"We should have left it at that but we didn't. That was our gravest mistake, wasn't it? We crossed the line we ourselves drew." It wasn't in the cards for either of them. Not for him, who was a sworn soldier with a definite number of years to live...
