𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐒 - 𝐁. 𝐁𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬

five - then leave

            I'M not saying that I hate people, but... I hate people.

People just like to pet my peeves I guess. I suppose that's why I have so much blood on my hands, I decide that killing them is easier than dealing with them.

It was less than twenty four hours until the alpha teams and I were to set out for Romania, and I couldn't help but shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen. This, of course, led to my sour mood - and having a team of ass monkeys in my house did not help with said sour mood.

"You would think that if an airplane could fly, if I flapped my arms fast enough I would start flying too."

"So, clearly you don't understand aerodynamics."

"No, I do, I'm just saying that I find it silly how an airplane that weighs like, a million pounds, and then gets more weight added to it is still able to fly."

"So, you really don't know how aerodynamics works."

"No, I literally just said I do. I'm just saying that-"

"Shut the fuck up."

Glaring at the two bickering teenagers - Katniss Everdeen wannabe pt. 2 and spider-child - I pushed my fingers to my temple, trying to stop the growing headache.

"You both have the emotional maturity of a fucking tortoise, and your questions are a) irrelevant and b) fucking stupid."

Peter and Kate both pouted, crossing their arms at the same time and jutting their bottom lips out as they looked at me.

"Language."

Did he seriously just- he really just- did the popsicle just tell me to watch my language while walking into my living room holding one of my beers?

"Oh I'm sorry, Mr. Icicle, let me just sit back and take notes on how to live my life in my house," I said, eyes narrowed at him as he sat down on the couch next to Kate. "I swear you buffoons have taken over my house," I grumbled, standing up and walking to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of wine and popping the cork out, drinking straight from the bottle. "I'm not drunk enough to deal with you."

"Should you really be drinking if you're going on a business trip tomorrow morning," Bruce Banner questions, walking into the room followed by Loki, Thor and the robotic dick.

"I would like to just take a moment to double check on when I asked for your fucking opinion?"

"Language!"

He's going to get a free colonoscopy, and it's going to be because I shoved a stick up his ass.

"If you say that one more time I swear to jesus fuc-"

"Don't even say it, sugar," Tony said, walking into the room with a purpose to his step.

Dear god, please kill me.

"Great, now you're here too," I grumble, taking another large gulp of the alcohol as the group stood around the kitchen counter, me - thankfully - on the opposite side as them.

"Wow, it's quite the party in here," Katerina Sylkov said, standing on the edge of the counter and leaning against it, her eyes flickering over the bottle of wine in my hand.

"Yeah, sure, party," I muttered, setting the wine glass down and throwing my head back as I heard more footsteps walking into the kitchen.

"Boss."

"Oh thank god, save me," I exhaled, immediately moving towards Mason and pushing him back into the hallway so that I could leave the group of ass monkeys alone and bickering with one another.