Gracious

All My Life.

Your face is burned in the back of my mind; 
the sweetest light left on all the time. 
And I hate to say it, but you flicker and falter 
and I can feel you as you fade as I'm starting to get older. 

Our past changes each time that I say it out loud, 
and fragile edges replace solid ground. 
Certainties and details in the palm of my hand, 
now all just echoes of what I don't understand. 

Still don't know why God took you away. 
I'm trying to make sense of it all, to this day. 
No answers, no proof, 
just a fleeting trace of you. 
Would have have loved you all my life 
like I told God I would do. 

I've forgotten your touch the way 
a drought would miss the ocean, 
but I bet it would heal me the way 
Lord knows that I've been hoping. 

So I push this heart aside 
like that's what I was made to do, 
but when I said I'm fine, I lied. 
The wound has turned my chest see-through. 

And I still don't know why God took you away. 
I'm trying to make sense of it all, to this day. 
No answers, no proof, 
not a single trace of you. 
Would have loved you all my life 
if God let me still have you. 

I would walk on the water 
and split every sea, 
but I never caught her, 
and she never found me. 
God knows I feel smaller 
since He took half of me; 
that I never forgot her, 
and she always missed me. 

And I'll never know why God took you away, 
but I still try to make sense of it all, to this day. 
No answers, no proof. 
I lost me when I lost you. 
Would have loved you all my life, 
and God knows I still do. 

I've missed you all my life, 
and God knows I will do. 

'All My Life' - 11/02/24.
I've forgotten your touch a way a drought would miss the ocean.