A story in a book

My life after that

   I didn't get out from the room until Luis arrived to the airport and Tim pick him up. He didn't saw me around so when he arrived to the mansion. He let Luis and came to my apartment. I saw his car. I felt safe that he was here now. I didn't respond at the phone only whene the receptionist call me to say that is someone how want to visit me. And I said:

"Can you bring him by yourself at my room. Because you know how I look now. And one more thing. Don't be fast I need to clean a little bit. Take the stairs. I love you bye."

They actually take the stairs to the 6th floor, at my appartment. And while they escalated the stairs I was cleaning the apartment. He was sweet. Because... He brought me a bouquet of orange roses. He got into the apartment and asked:

"So you are friends now? You and Luis... "

"I don't know what we are but I think it is something lower. You know, is like what happened between you and yeah." I said
 
He got closer and hugged me. He was warm and I could easily say that my heart was beating faster. I like him more than a friend.

  Tim and I know each other from our childhood. I I had a crush on him for years like until our first relationship. In 2012. I was 11 and he was 13. It wasn't a long relationship  I think it was for 1 month. After that month we were separated by the "ADOPT CHILDREN FROM GERMANY" agency. I should travel a lot and didn't came back. After a lot of years that I liked him. I like him since I was 6 years old and until he made Anna his girlfriend. After that I say to myself that I need to pass away from this. And I had a boyfriend. And after reunited in 2021. Luis. And after broke up. And now I don't fking know.

   I decided to don't get closer until we are both ready to have a new relationship. I like him more than a friend but lower than a boyfriend.

  So he helped me to pass away from my ex.and he came at me every week to check me. I had seizures, I wanted to drink to forget what happened. And yeah.

  Well he was cute because he came every week and every time he came with something cute, like chocolate, chips, flowers etc.. He even made me a gift to go with him at his family, crazy. I get closer to him every time we spend time together.

  And the month of October came. I saw the guys everywhere I went. At the fashion weeks, in the magazines. I was happy that I saw the boys, I was proud that I know them and they are my friend, but it was Luis there too. Everywhere I was looking it was Luis. It pissed me off. I really passed away from this relationship. And in those moments I was over it. I started crying in the middle of the street because I was remembering the times when I was thinking I wasn't enough. And started to think that I wasn't enough  for Luis.

  And when I got to their place, at the mansion, I saw Luis with his new girl and I was happy and disappointed for myself at the same time. I was smiling and going to the bathroom to throw up.

  I had cancer. No one knew. Not even Tim. I was wearing wigs from natural hair. I was weakened. I could barely stand. I was walking heavily but managed to make it look easy. I was paler than usual so I was putting on makeup. And after approximately one year I got rid of cancer. I had cancer in September 2022 and got rid of it in November 2023.

  Luis tried a lot of times to talk to me. I was just... not ready to talk to him. But one day I talked to him and it wasn't over good. It was a day from the end of October. When I was trying to not go at him and kiss him. In that moment everyone heard that I had cancer. When everyone from the room was looking at me, I tried to run but I couldn't make one step cuz I felt.

  I woke up at the hospital and Tim, Bene, Jacob and Julien were in the room and waited for me to wake up. When they saw me awake they smiled but were insecure. I smiled back and fell asleep again.