agggtm stories

Good times, Bad times

MASSIVE SH TRIGGER WARNING, please read carefully!!

This is in Pips POV

    Ever since I had to ghost everyone, I've started doing something. It is not something I'm very proud of. If I ever see Ravi again, I could never tell him. It would be one of the many secrets I could never tell him if we ever spoke again. I've started self harming, cutting myself. It's an addiction that has me wrapped around its finger.

      Day 33 without Ravi was when Jason was found to be the DT killer. Thats when I started. It's now day 100 without him, and it's becoming unbearable. I might never see Ravi ever again. Or tell him how much I love him in all of the secret ways we always did. I want to stop cutting. I want to be normal again. I want Ravi.

I've been convincing myself that this is good, that I'm keeping everyone safe, and that I will see Ravi soon. Only once the verdict is announced. But what if I don't. What if Max is found not guilty? What if Ravi ends up hating me? What if Ravi has moved on or forgot about me? All of these thoughts start leaving my mind with every cut, soon to be scar, I make. That's another reason I started, so I can forget about Ravi, forget about Max, forget about everything. I can forget how much I'm hurting. Because pain in the body quiets the pain in the head.

I don't have a roommate, I got a single dorm so I don't have to tell people I'm ok . So no one has to worry about me. I hate people worrying about me. I also started going to parties, just to drink and smoke. I like smoking too, It's not really an addiction like cutting is, just something I do whenever I go to parties.

I've never hooked up with anyone, just in case Ravi still wants to be with me. I want him to be my first. I want to be his first, but I'm probably not. He's probably got a girlfriend by now. He's probably had sex with more people than I see on a week day. He is so attractive, it would be really surprising if he didn't have one.

Its day 694 without talking to him. To really anyone. I call my parents sometimes. I text Cara rarely. But that's it. I have the news on in the background while I'm on my phone. I do that sometimes, just in case Max is sent to prison. In case the verdict is announced. It take me a second to hear my towns name,

"Max Hastings, a 24 year old male, has been arrested and charged with Jason Bells murder."
They say something else, but I can't hear. The only thing in my mind is Ravis voice saying, "We did it Sarge! You are safe!" "We are safe." I say to the Ravi in my head.

Part 2?