agggtm stories

Showers and Panics

TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic attacks, ptsd, smoking, mentions of self harm and anxiety. please read carefully!!!

(This is after Pip graduated, her parents never knew about her panic attacks or her anxiety. Pip and Ravi also live together. This takes place during Christmas time.)

Pip normally loved Christmas time. Being around all of her family and friends but this year is different. Her panic attacks had gotten worse and the only person who knows is Ravi, her soon-to-be-husband. Pip liked thinking of him like that, it made her happy. They had gotten engaged four months ago, she's been planning like crazy (hint for the next story?).

Pip was scared she was going to have a panic attack in front of her parents. She already hated having them with her fiancée but in front of her parents? It sounded like a nightmare.

Pip used to cut when she got stressed. Ravi found out when they met up after the verdict. He helped her stop, but she started something else that Ravi is still trying to get her to stop. Instead of cutting, when Pip was stressed, she vaped. It wasn't really something she did in front of anyone, but she wasn't exactly hiding it.

This was a time she was stressed. In her and Ravi apartment, she was vaping. Ravi was outside doing god knows what, so she pulled it out of her pocket and hit it. The flavor was watermelon, one of her favorites. Pip hit it a few times until she heard Ravi walking in, quickly putting it back in her pocket.

"I can smell it Pip." Ravi says, the disappointment clearly in his voice. "I know that I sometimes drink but that doesn't mean that you can vape."

"It's not fair." Pip is clearly annoyed, not really at Ravi but at herself. She annoyed at herself for letting herself do this, for hurting Ravi. Annoyed that she would always go back to something. Back to not being 'normal' or 'better'.

"Life isn't fair." Ravi always had a point, whether Pip liked it or not. "Go shower, you smell like nicotine." Ravi teased, trying to lighten the mood.

"I'm just going to change. I don't feel like showering twice in one day if I don't really need to." Pip responded, not really caring what she smelled like. Not like she really smelled bad, just probably a smell her family wouldn't want in their house.

"You should probably shower. You are going to get me in trouble with your parents if they found out you were smoking when I was with you. Especially if we are getting married soon." Ravi had another point. He always had a fucking point. It annoyed the hell out of Pip sometimes.

"Fine, it's going to be quick because you need to shower too." Pip knew that this compromise was fair.

"Should we shower together?" Ravi watched as Pips face brighten into a shade of pink. It made him laugh because, even though they were engaged, Pip always got flustered when he made comments like that.

"We are going to my parents house after this, I would prefer to be able to walk, thank you very much." This time, it looked like Pip won.

"I wasn't saying we had to do anything." Ravi added, being cocky.

"Sure you weren't." Pip said walking to the bathroom, "I know you Ravi Singh. You were very much saying that we had to do something"

"Fine, you win. Hurry it up though Sarge." Ravi tried to sound annoyed but could only smile.

"Can do baby." Pip teased, but not being able to see his face because she closed the bathroom door.

Pip hated showers. The water on her skin, it just looked like blood. Most of the time it was not her blood, it was Stanley's, the person she promised to save. Sometimes it was the man she murdered, the man who tried to make her his sixth victim. But sometimes it was her blood. Her blood when she used to cut herself. She hated her showers the most when it was her blood. Hated it with a passion. Mostly because Ravi still blames himself, even if he doesn't show it. She just knows it in the back of her head that's what he thinks. She doesn't want him to think like that. She wants him to live his life without worrying about her. She wants a lot of things, but she's content with just Ravi for now.

Pips showers normally lasted about 30 minutes because the first 10 are getting used to the water, making it not look like blood.

The other 20 are her washing her body, hair, and putting conditioner in while she yells Taylor Swift songs that are blasting through her speakers.

After she gets out and gets dressed, Ravi is already almost done with his shower. He liked taking long showers but Pip took all of the hot water so he hurried it up. Not like he really cared that much, Ravi would take cold showers for the rest of his life for Pip.

Pip was doing her makeup, covering up the scar on her cheek. She really liked doing her makeup. It was a distraction, and it made her look pretty. She liked looking pretty, she mostly did it for Ravi though.

Ravi got out of the shower, and walked into the bedroom to get dressed.

"Hey! Stop looking perv!" Ravi exclaimed when he caught Pip looking over at him.

"You are just soooo hot." Pip teased, smiling the whole time. Even though it wasn't exactly a joke. She really thought he looked really hot.

"Is that so? We should go out for coffee sometime." He grinned, putting on some green cargo pants.

"Does noon tomorrow work?" Pip smiled while doing her eyeliner.

"Perfect." Ravi laughed, slipping on a white tank top with an oversized gray hoodie over it.

"Hey!! I wanted that hoodie!!" Pip said once she turned around, her makeup finished.

"Thats. To. Bad." Ravi said, walking towards her.

"Ugh. What do I wear now?" Pip said, looking around.

"How about.....nothing." Ravi smirked, watching her face turn into a bright pink.

"We are not going to have sex right now." Pip said, patting his hair. Even if she could barely reach. "Nice try though!"

"You are being so stubborn." He laughed "I have another hoodie for you, my little one."

"Thank god. You are so sweet, darling." She grinned

"Awww don't flatter me honey." He chuckled softly

"Get your shoes and let's go." Pip said, waiting at the door.

"Yes Sarge." He smirked, putting on his converse.

IM SO SORRY!!! I have to do a part two. It should be out later today but I have family things so if not, i can do a double upload tomorrow!!