Wake Up

Chapter 4

The two made their way around Manchester. Visiting all the places they could remember, from their old apartment building to the local Starbucks where they first met. It all came back to them after so long, but it might've come back too quickly for Dan. He was remembering the way he felt about Phil when they had met. The way he still felt about him. No. Dan tried to bury the thought deep so as to not ruin what time they were sharing together.
"Dan, come on!" Phil exclaimed, jumping up to the fountain's edge. Dan sighed, and then laughed at how childish Phil was acting.
"Don't hurt yourself!" Dan called, cupping his hands around his mouth.
He watched Phil play around the fountain, feeling memories flood inside his mind. But instead of pushing them away, he let them play in his mind. Smiling foolishly at how much Phil hadn't changed.
Phil eventually stopped and looked up to the cloudy sky with puzzlement.
"I think it's starting to rain," he said thoughtfully.
Dan chuckled lightly, and looked up too.
"So it is," he said, turning back to Phil.
"Come on, let's head inside a shop or something until it passes."
But Phil shook his head, and opened his arms wide, with the rain gently pouring down on him.
"I love the rain," he said soothingly, "it makes me feel like a beautiful flower getting a big drink of water."
Dan chuckled, and pulled his jacket hood up over his head. He shoved his hands in his pockets to retain some warmth, and sat on a nearby bench. He watched Phil with his arms stretched wide, spinning and twirling in the rainfall. The droplets sticking to his pale skin, his eyes closed, and a beaming smile plastered on his face. The rain fell on his hands, his wrists, his cheeks, and his hair. Dan only watched in awe, and wished his hands were in the rainwater's place. Oh, how jealous he was of the rain.
Phil finally put his arms down, and briskly walked towards Dan, holding his hand out to him.
"Take my hand," he said, and Dan looked at Phil's hand, and then back up at him.
"Why?" He asked, chuckling nervously.
"I want you to dance with me," Phil said innocently. Dan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.
"You want us to dance...in the rain?" He asked with suspicion. He folded his arms in front of his chest and crossed his legs. "What's your game here, Lester?"
Phil giggled a little, and thrusted his hand further out to Dan.
"Nothing," he said defensively.
"I just wanna try! Please! I've always wanted to do this!"
Dan sighed hopelessly, and took hold of Phil's hand while trying to ignore the butterflies fluttering in his stomach.
They stood in the middle of the pavement in a small park, surrounded by lush trees with the leaves tinted with orange and yellow. With the rain now misting down on them instead of heavy water droplets. It seemed like they would stand hand in hand forever, until Phil started moving both of their hands in a slow shimmy-like motion. Dan chuckled as he started to bend his knees to the rhythm of the shimmy, then they moved together in a slow circle. Phil looked Dan up and down, then pulled him in and spun him around. Dan was sort of caught off guard, and laughed in surprise as he spun on his toes. Phil then reeled Dan back in, putting his hand around his waist, which caused Dan to forget to breathe for a moment. He hesitantly put his hand on Phil's shoulder, and the two began to sway gently and gracefully. Dan smiled but tried to hide the redness in his cheeks by looking down at their feet.
"Since when do you dance well?" He asked with a small chuckle.
"You're not gonna believe me," Phil said, "but I practiced dancing for my brother's wedding when you weren't home."
Hearing this caused Dan to lift his head in shock. But then his shock turned to disbelief.
"You're right, I don't believe you," he said, shaking his head.
Phil laughed a little.
"It's true," Phil said with a smirk, which made Dan look back down again to hide his blushing face. He just couldn't help being flustered around Phil. They danced to the music playing in their minds until the clouds parted and the rain had stopped.
They continued to walk throughout Manchester with the sun getting lower and lower behind them. Soon, they concluded their little adventure and hopped back onto the train back to London. Phil looked out the window up at the sky full of stars, and then looked down at Dan with his head on his shoulder.
"Dan?" Phil said in a gentle voice.
There was no response.
"Dan, you can't actually be asleep, I know you too well."
Dan lifted his head and looked at Phil with tired eyes.
"What is it?" He asked with a tired yawn.
Phil took a second to answer, because for some reason, he was feeling rather nervous.
"How are you feeling?" Phil asked kindly.
"You've seemed rather distant lately, like your mind is elsewhere."
Dan let out a shaky breath, and tried to look into Phil's eyes. He saw the expression in them. Care and compassion.
"You're doing it again," Phil said, feeling slightly saddened. "Please, you know you can trust me."
Another trembling sigh escaped Dan's lips.
"I'm sorry," he said, "I guess I've just been rather overwhelmed by my workload of posting new videos, and pleasing my viewers. That kind of thing."
He paused, and Phil looked at him with his full attention, listening to every word.
"I've felt like I'm in this deep hole," Dan continued, "and I'm struggling to pull myself out from the depths of my...feelings."
His heart sank as he realized what he just said.
"Feelings?" Phil questioned curiously.
"What feelings?"
Dan sighed anxiously, trying to think of a believable lie.
"You know," he mumbled, "depression and anxiety related feelings..."
Phil's face then softened into concern, and knew he wouldn't question any further if Dan wasn't comfortable. Seeing how sad Dan looked, Phil creeped his hand to the back of Dan's head and pulled him down to his shoulder, gently massaging the back of his head with his thumb. It took everything in Dan to not shudder in bliss, and to not cry messily into Phil's shoulder.
"Don't worry," Phil said softly, "I'll be here to help you."
Dan's bottom lip began to tremble, and he didn't care. He let a few tears trickle down his face, before shuffling his head comfortably into the crook of Phil's neck. He felt so safe with him, and he couldn't imagine feeling that way around anyone else.
The rest of the train ride was silent, along with the car ride home. The door closed behind them as they walked into their home, and rested on the sofa. After a few moments, Dan stood up and started walking to his bedroom.
"Dan?"
He turned and faced Phil still on the sofa.
"Yes?"
Phil stood up, and wrapped his arms comfortingly around Dan, who fully accepted the hug. It felt so warm and comforting, until they pulled away. They both walked to their bedrooms, standing in the doorways, looking at one another from across the hall.
"Good night," Phil said, smiling softly.
"Good night," Dan said, returning the smile.
Phil closed his door, and Dan closed his. Then the night was quiet and still again, like it had been since they got back to London on the train.