"you look better!"
do i look better? do i not look mournful, hurt?
do i play it off that well?
"are you feeling better?"
no. i have not gone to therapy in 3 months.
i still cannot get over her death and your leaving.
it's been nine months.
"well.. are you sleeping better?"
no. i lay down and stare at the ceiling for hours, wishing you were here.
feeling the tears running down my face.
saying your name over and over into the dark; all that you've left me with.
you didn't say goodbye.
we hadn't talked in weeks.
your funeral was cold.
did you know?
did you find out before i did?
is that why you left?
no, i will not "get over it."
no, i will not "move on."
no, i will not get sober.
and no, i am not better.
