Taylor Swift Imagines and Drabbles (gxg)

Insecure (angst/fluff)

CW: body image issues, disordered eating
(if you ever need anyone to talk to my messages are always open <3)

You stood in the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror. Actually, 'looking' isn't the word that should really be used. 'Examining' is more accurate. You stood with your shirt pulled up over your stomach, poking and prodding at yourself, and your hatred growing every time you did but for some reason you just couldn't bring yourself to stop. You couldn't even remember how it got to this point, all you knew was one evening, you had seen a comment on a photo of you and Taylor leaving a restaurant saying that you had gained a bit of weight, and flash forward almost three months and you hated yourself more than ever. Originally, you hadn't meant to let it get this bad, it had started off as not a huge deal. You just started going to the gym slightly more often, and cut down on the random snacks during the day, but now you were at the point where you were going to the gym almost every day, or as many days a week as you had the time for, and you barely ate anything. The only times you really ate full meals was when you ate dinner with Taylor, so as not to worry her, and it wasn't often the two of you had enough time to actually sit and have a meal together, due to your busy schedules. You thought she hadn't noticed, you were trying so hard not to let anyone catch on.

Taylor however, had a suspicion that something was up. She noted you hadn't been your usual, happy, energetic self lately. When she got home late, instead of finding you curled up with the cats on the couch, reading or watching TV, like she used to, she now came home to find you asleep in your shared bed. She also noticed how much weight you had lost. You looked like a shell of yourself, and it scared her. She knew she wasn't around as much as she would normally be, seeing as she was on tour, she hadn't really been around to notice the change, but now she was home, she was made well aware, and she had her mind set on getting to the bottom of what was bothering you.

You had been so busy examining yourself in the mirror, mentally pointing out every little thing you could see wrong from 'my tummy sticks out too much'  to 'my thighs look too thick' you didn't hear Taylor's key turning in the lock of the front door as she arrived home from her final meeting of the week. You were oblivious to her presence in your apartment as you continued to stare at yourself, fully zoned out. You were only made aware of her being home when you heard the bathroom doorknob being turned. Panicked, you shoved the hem of your shirt down over your stomach, and grabbed the first lip gloss container your hand met on the counter top to make it look like you weren't doing anything. 

As Taylor walked into the bathroom, you looked up in the mirror and saw her smiling softly at you through the mirror. She moved around to stand behind you, her arms making their way around your waist to hug you from behind as she buried her face in the hair at the top of your head. "Hey baby" she whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of your head, before looking into your eyes in the mirror. 

"Hi Tay, how was the meeting?" you questioned, turning yourself around in her arms to bury your head in her shoulder, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume, feeling a sense of relaxation instantly wash over you.
"It was alright, we were just talking arrangements for the next leg of the tour. What about you? How was your day?" her question was punctuated with a small kiss pressed to your cheek, and you sighed in contentment, feeling completely relaxed in her arms. 
"It was okay I guess, I didn't really do much, just went to the gym this morning and tidied up a bit around here this afternoon." you murmured into her neck. 

"You went to the gym again today?" she moved away from you slightly so that she could look at your face properly. "Didn't you go yesterday?"
"Yeah, but I only went for two hours yesterday, so I went for three today to make up for it." you told her, not looking into her eyes. A concerned frown took over her face.
"Baby, you've been to the gym for at least two hours every day for the past two weeks, don't you want a break?" she asked you. 

Torn between telling her the truth about how you were feeling, opening up and letting all your worries and troubles out finally, and not wanting to worry her, you decided to mumble out a quick "It's not a big deal" and look down to the floor.

Sensing you were hiding something, she placed her hand under your chin and lifted your face up so that you were looking at her, "Y/N, what's wrong? Talk to me" and the dam broke.

Everything that was on your mind was spilling out without your control, everything you felt was wrong about your appearance, everything about how you had been obsessively going to the gym and about how you hadn't been eating properly. The words spewed out of your mouth uncontrollably until you had tears streaming down your face, and nothing else left to say. You looked over at your girlfriend, who had the most heartbroken expression on her face. 

Gently, she cupped your face in her hands and said "Baby girl, why didn't you come to me sooner, you should have told me you were struggling and I'm so sorry I didn't notice until now. But I need you to listen to me: You are the most gorgeous girls I've ever seen. You're so beautiful I genuinely cannot form the words, everything about you is perfect. Your belly is so cute and your thighs are the most heavenly things I've ever seen in my life, you're flawless baby, and I'll tell you that as many times as you need me to." She wrapped you up in her arms, kissing all over your face until your tears dissolved into giggles. 

"There's that cute laugh" she beamed. "How about I make your favourite for dinner tonight? I promise you I'm going to help you feel better about yourself. No matter how long it takes." she said as she scooped you up into her arms and carried you towards the kitchen. You buried your face in her shoulder, pressing a gentle kiss to her neck as a silent 'thank you'. It may take a while, but you truly believed that with the help of your loving girlfriend, you would feel better. 

A/N as always i'm sorry the ending is kind of crap i can't write a decent ending to save my life