Soul (Chaos #1)

Chapter Twelve

Chapter Twelve

When I turned the corner to the road my house was on, my stomach dropped. Mam was standing a few feet away, wringing her hands. When she saw me, she flew at me, her face pale and shimmery.

"You stupid girl," she said, but there was no anger in her voice, only fear. "What did you do?"

I was in no mood to placate her. "Do you ever ask him what he does? He waited outside the college and attacked me in front of everyone. So somebody stopped him. That's what happened, Mam. That's what I did. I was a fucking victim, yet again."

"He's going crazy," she said, bending over as if about to throw up. "He tried to get into your room, but the door is stuck or something, and it's driving him insane. He started smashing up the place, and I can't get him to stop. I don't know what to do, Cara. You're leaving me with no choice."

"What are you on about? Call the police if he's wrecking the house. What are-"

"You have to leave," she whined. "You can't stay here tonight."

"Where am I supposed to go?"

"Stay with Zoe. She won't mind. She'll even lend you clothes. I know she will."

"But my stuff is-"

"I'll text you when it's safe to get your things. I had to call his boss to let him know he's taking vacation days for the rest of the week. I can't let him go to work in this state. I'll take him out of the house, help him cool down. You can take what you need when he's not here, and everything will be okay."

"What are... are you kicking me out?"

She dragged her fingernails down her cheeks. "What am I supposed to do? I can't keep everyone happy. I tried, and I tried, but it doesn't work. It gets worse. I've ruined everything, but I can't change the past, so you have to go."

"Mam," I whispered, feeling that chill in the pit of my stomach. If I left, it would be for good. Nobody came back in our family. Once they left, it meant forever. I knew that was what she was telling me, but I couldn't believe it. Not at all. "Please, Mam. Kick him out. We'll be happy. You and me. He's the one who's made us miserable."

"I'm not miserable with him! He makes me happy, but you... he said he wouldn't be able to deal with it, but I didn't believe him, and I forced him. I forced him to watch me love you. It was a mistake. It was all such a mistake, but I couldn't face the alternative."

"I don't... I don't understand."

"I'm afraid of what will happen if you stay, Cara! I'm so afraid. I don't have any other options."

I stared at her in disbelief. "You have plenty of options. You could be a mother to me, be there for me the way you're supposed to. You never... between the two of you... why are you doing this to me? What have I done? He's picked on me my entire life, and I have no idea why. Yet you take his side, each and every time. I was the child, Mam. Me. Not him. I needed you. Not him. Why couldn't you pick me? Just once?"

"I chose you when it made all of the difference! And it's gotten me nothing but grief. He needs me more than you know. You don't understand what it's been like for him to-"

I took a step back. "You're right. I don't understand. Not you, not my grandparents, not Darragh, not him. I don't understand why none of you stuck by me when I needed you. I don't understand what I did to be undeserving of your love. I don't know why you all think it's okay to treat anyone this way, never mind family. It's on days like this that I don't blame Darragh for what he did." I walked away.

"Cara," she called. I looked back to see tears streaming down her cheeks. "I don't want this. I don't want to lose you, too."

"Then get rid of him!"