Unexpected

7. Daniel

Freya. Pregnant.
She's pregnant.
Freya is pregnant.

I pace my bedroom floor trying to understand what has just happened. How is this happening? I mean I know how but something doesn't feel right. It feels like I'm going to throw up, my insides are turning inside out and my chest hurts. I rub my palm over it to ease the ache but it does nothing. I feel anger bubbling in the pit of my stomach. Fuck. I grab the nearest thing to me and I launch it across the room, the satisfying sound of glass smashing and sprinkling all over my floor never comes as a loud thud fills the silence. It seems I had only grabbed a deodorant can.
This is what my life has become, a whirlwind of emotions ever since Rey's birthday. Zoey kick started this emotional rollercoaster when she broke up with me.

"Dan, I need you to be honest with me." She closed my bedroom door and leaned against it. I unbuttoned the first few buttons of my shirt expecting her to follow suit but she just stood there. The silence is almost deafening.
"About what?" I asked and removed my shoes so I could lay back on my bed. I take it neither of us are in the mood tonight.
"Did seeing Freya leave with someone bother you?" She cut to the chase and I froze. I furrowed my brows and looked over at her. Her face was indifferent which unnerved me a little.
Why would she ask me that? I stared back at the ceiling.
"Why would it have bothered me?"
"I saw your face tonight, Daniel. You looked like you were going to knock his lights out. If I didn't know any better I would think you're jealous." She explained and folded her arms over her chest.
"You're being crazy." I shake my head dismissively. I refuse to indulge in this. Nothing good ever came from thinking about this.
"Look." She snapped and pushed off the door, storming over to me and scrunched my shirt in her fist and pulled on it. "Don't you dare even try to lie to me. You're so indenial it's a joke. We haven't been a proper couple for months, you were never committed to us because you have feelings for Freya. You just haven't let yourself admit it because of fear. And you know what? I'm done. I'm not going to sit here and wait for you to break up with me because of her or cheat on me with her. So Daniel, I break up with you." She snarled, even though her words were being said in anger I could see the hurt in her eyes. But she was wrong. I would never cheat or do anything to hurt her. I pushed myself up off the bed and towered over her, my shirt was no longer in her fist. She took a step back and squared her shoulders.
"Freya and I are just familiar because of how long we've known each other. I would never hurt you like that." I asserted and cupped her cheeks. She can't throw us away over suspicion. I don't have feelings for Freya.
She shoved my hands away, "No but you will hurt me." She bit back then sighed. "Figure your shit out, Daniel. As much as I hate to admit it, you and Freya are good together. You've both wasted so much time hiding behind your friendship. Don't waste anymore." She smiled but it was more of a sad smile. She breathed in and stepped away from me, snapping out of her emotions as if she had just mentally checked out of our relationship."Good luck, Dan. The sex was great but don't ever call me again." She left me in my room with thoughts that should have stayed dormant.

For days I avoided Freya because I didn't want to accept what Zoey said. My emotions were all messed up. I felt confused because I sweeped through memories looking for signs that Freya may have liked me too but it was overshadowed by reasonable explanations. I guess Zoey was right about hiding behind fear. I didn't want to give in to such feelings when I could have been way off and ruined twenty years of friendship.
Each day became worse and worse, the idea of being with Freya excited me but equally terrified me. When I looked at her or she was near me, I felt the urge to pull her into me, kiss her and tell her how I felt, how I wanted to have a future, kids and grow old with her but I also felt anger towards her because she was the reason Zoey broke up with me. Because she went off with some random guy, not even thinking about me or how I'd feel so clearly she doesn't have any feelings for me. But then I remember how unfair I was being. I can't be in a relationship and expect her not to be with anyone else.
I realise now that Zoey did me a favour because I can't be in a relationship with someone who isn't Rey. I figured that out when I had her in my arms and was just seconds away from kissing her enticing lips. I could feel it in the way she stared back at me that she wanted it, wanted me because it was the same as when I went in to kiss her at prom. God that kiss... that kiss is what made me buy that mental chest to lock away all those feelings that stirred up within me. No matter how much I wanted to believe she and I could have something, fear overpowered that but I don't want to be scared anymore.
And what a time to figure that out when she's just found out she's pregnant. And it's not yours. That taunting voice in my head reminds me.
If she finds whatever his name is and tells him about the baby, they're going to be a nice little happy family and ride off into the sunset. Leaving me behind with my feelings for her.
Fuck Zoey for opening up that mental chest that I've kept buried away and fuck the universe for fucking me over.

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- SasMaster145, 29.12.2023