Ravaged Hearts

Chapter 8

Stella

I won't cry. I won't cry. I WON'T CRY.

Fuck this shit. Tears roll down my damn eyes anyway, ignoring the words I've been chanting for probably half an hour now.

Just then, my phone buzzes with a reminder. As I look at the screen, I sigh. 12 am. My bed time reminder for whenever I decide on pulling an all nighter.  I bury my face in my palms and sob quietly, hiding from the woman sitting across from me in this very waiting room. My mom. She's been here for more than 10 hours I suppose. I practically ran to the hospital as soon as I got the call from my mom. She blurted out the words in that almost inaudible voice, "Ste- Stella... Your- father-  Arthur... he's in the ICU-  can you-" All I really could hear were her sobbing and sniffing.

Raelynn had visited, around 6 and stayed till 9. She brought dinner for me, my mom and my brother. Mom was very happy to see her... well as happy as you can be when your husband is in the ICU anyway. She stayed with me, comforted me and everything and she told me how Aiden took her home and everything. I had a good laugh while listening to that crazy story of her. She said she would've stayed with me over night if she could. But she has her little sister home, and her parents are away, so she is basically her sister's guardian right now.

As the doctor finally comes out of the unit, my brother rushes towards him. Edward is in his own medical white coat. So I suppose the doctor was probably confused when he said he was Arthur Jackson's son. The doctor then asks him if he himself is a doctor as well. Ed quickly corrects him and says he is a med student in his 3rd year. Then they start the discussion about dad's current condition. I only catch some of the words: "...paralysis," "...cardiac arrests," and, "...fatal."

I'm scared.

Then they pass each other a nod and Ed stands in front of us waiting restlessly to know about dad's condition. 

"Yea... so the doctor said he just had one of those, muscle tightening situations and so he was having trouble breathing. It's... getting worse, so it's a good thing that he was brought in quickly but..." he spares me a small glance, his eyes full of worry and fear.  I can tell. I've noticed how he's avoiding my gaze every time he has something to say about dad. He is scared for me, knowing how much dad means to me, what possibly can happen to me if something happens to dad. It's like... my whole existence is surrounding him perhaps. I hold back the tears, bracing myself to hear whatever he is going to say after that scary "but..."

"He'll have to go through surgery as soon as possible and has to be given a heavy doze of anti-biotics or else it might worsen and um... might cause cardiac arrests... which might be... fatal..." he murmurs the last word like he can't speak anymore, turns around and occupies the seat opposite to me, beside my mom. They discuss about the procedures and expenses and everything. Dad is still in the ICU. He has this not-so-common condition called Guillain-Barré syndrome, commonly called GBS. It's totally curable, everyone has been saying that all the time. But dad didn't want to take anti-biotics for God knows what reason, maybe because of the side effects. Still. But now, the doctor just comes out of the ICU, telling surgery ASAP or death. Why? Oh, it's suddenly worsening at a high pace. I'm not a med student or anything, so I know nothing about all these but seriously, what the fuck?

I escape from the waiting area. Hospital environment has never been my favourite type of environment. It's... suffocating. So I go to the balcony or terrace, whatever I should call this to get some fresh air. It's way too cold outside.