The end is just the begining

Part twenty - New Start

Meredith sat there silently, a part of her wanted to tell Derek everything. From start to finish. She just wanted him to know. But the other part didn't. That part wanted to shut down and shut everyone out of her life. But why? They loved her. Yes, it was okay not to say anything. But she wanted them to know, to understand. Plus, it's good to talk. Right?

"Meredith?" Cristina asked, snapping her out of her thoughts "Are you okay?" She noticed Meredith was staring, her eyes glued to the wall. She was emotionless, but when she heard her name. She could see her old self in her eyes. She was still there, she wasn't gone. Yet. 

"N..No," She stammered. She kicked herself for saying it, she wasn't sure why she didn't want to say how she was. She hated it. 

"What's going on in that beautiful mind?" Derek asked, leaning forward in the hospital bed. 

"I remember," She muttered under her breath "Everything keeps playing in my head over and over again." 

"Oh Meredith, I'm so sorry," Cristina started "What can we do to help?" 

"I remember what happened in the van, I remember their faces and how they smelt," Meredith muttered, ignoring Cristina asked. 

She just continued, telling them what had happened when she was kidnapped, every detail. from when she was first there to know. She noticed how their faces went pale, their eyes grew with tears. Their heart broke for her. She went on, she got to the last of it. Derek winced when she began to talk about what had happened in the van and what the two men did. Tears fell from his eyes. They had broken her. 

Silence was the only sound in the room, no one could say anything. They were shocked and numb for Meredith. They knew how bad it was, but never knew the full story. They were surprised she had even told them, normally she wouldn't. But this was good, it was progress. No matter how scared she was, they were going to be there for her. No matter what. 

"I...Is it okay if I have some space?" Meredith asked, her voice cracked as she spoke. Her voice was groggy from talking. She didn't want to anymore, she was exhausted. Her mind began to race again. 

"Of course," They both spoke at the same time. They both wiped away their tears and stood from their chairs. Derek gently rubbed the back of her hand and walked out behind Cristina. He didn't want to leave her side, but she wanted space and she deserved it. 

The two nodded to the officer as they left, he nodded back as a kind gesture to them. Like he was saying hello back. Cristina and Derek both walked down the hallway together, silent. They figured if they went for a short walk and came back to check up on her maybe she'd feel a tiny bit better when they got back. 

"What are you thinking?" Cristina asked, turning toward him and seeing his emotionless facial expression. He seemed lost. 

"Meredith," He mumbled, "I'm gonna head back, I'll sit in the hallway or something." He exhaled, spun around in the opposite direction, and walked back down the hallway toward Meredith's room. 

"O-Okay," She stammered and continued on her way. Maybe find some work to do. She watched as he hurried on his way down the hall. He looked like a trainwreck. For once she felt bad for him, she felt worse for Meredith. 

"Cristina," She heard a voice catch her attention, she spun around to see who it was. It was George. He seemed nervous "How is Meredith?" 

"She's awake now, settling in," She spoke, her face softened when she saw him. It was only George. "I would wait a little bit before going to see her, she needs some space. I will give you a text, okay?" 

"I get it, tell her I said hi, Okay?" 

"Of course." 

Derek walked back to Meredith's room and peeked through the doorway, there she was in her bed. She had her eyes closed. She looked calm and peaceful. Unafraid even, like she knew she was safe. He slowly walked in, not wanting to startle her. But it was too late, she already heard him. As soon as he walked in, she quickly opened her eyes. 

"I'm sorry," He sighed, stopping in his tracks "I'll go."

"Wait, no. Don't go. stay!" Meredith told him, she said it like it was one word. She had said it fast, but he knew what she had said. He knew her. 

"I won't, I promise," He replied, closing the door and sitting next to her "You're safe with me, you can rest now okay?" 

Derek took her hand in his, she laid on her side facing him. She watched him and explored his features. She missed him, his voice, his laugh. She missed everything about him. Slowly, she was able to fall asleep knowing he was with her. Maybe not keeping her safe, but he was there to comfort her. Love her. 

She walked through the halls, she was terrified. How could a hospital be so terrifying? Tomorrow was her first day as an intern. But today she was on an adventure to find someone. Someone her mom wouldn't stop talking about. It was the sister she never met. Sure, she's never met her before. She was excited to try to find her, to meet her. 

"Uh, excuse me," She spoke to one of the desk receptionists, it caught her attention. She immediately looked up from her computer. She looked up at the young girl ahead of her. "I-I'm looking for a Dr Meredith Grey." 

"Who's asking?" She replied 

"Well, I-I'm her half-sister," She stammered "My name is Lexie Grey." 

"Right," The nurse muttered and looked down at a piece of paper in front of her as the intern danced around with her feet nervously. 

"I'm afraid I cannot say anything," 

"O-okay," She stammered and turned on her heels. The nerves flushed through her body. Maybe tomorrow?