•𝐀𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐚𝐳-𝐞-𝐈𝐬𝐡𝐪| ✓

کفارہ | Atonement

DISTURBING NIGHTMARE

Night passed, the dawn came. Ayesha tossed and turned on the sofa placed outside in the lawn. After saying those words to dilawar, she left the room, to have time to think. What dilawar had done in his past, was extremely wrong, but he was punished in a way, worser than possible. She was guilty for uttering the last of her sentences. She couldn't understand what to say and seeing how he hasn't left the room, she was worried.

Finally having enough, she stood up from the sofa and saw the time to be 4 30 at night, she went towards the room, the first night of her wedding had turned out so tragic that she couldn't sleep in fear. She slowly turned the knob of door, incase he would be sleeping but what she saw, left her speechless.

Sitting on the prayer mat, with his face towards kibla and his shoulder vibrating as he cries, was her husband, doing his kuffarah. Her heart ached seeing how he would fall in prostation with his lips chanting the surah's efficiently. She gulped and went inside the room, his prostations were longer, they were filled with sukoon, he was asking for forgiveness in prostation, he was taking his time. Doing kuffarah of his kuffur and indeed, HE was most magnificent and most merciful, HE was loving more than seventy mother and HE never deny the voice of his people.

Ayesha silently sat behind him. She thought about everything that dilawar told her, her heart ached for everyone, she slightly resented dilawar for doing something unacceptable but she was not going to keep it in her heart against him, he got way worse, thing that he does not deserve to experience and doesn't not deserve to see. Dilawar turned his head towards his right shoulder and said salaam and repeated to his left shoulder as well. He sighed and raised his quivering hands infront.

Ayesha gulped, the moment felt extremely different, she was just a bride of one day and she saw way into his life - one that was extremely messed up. A shaky breath left dilawar, his eyes were sore and tired of tears leaking them, his throat hurts after crying so much, his head throb, his heart hurts yet he continued to mumbled, he converse with his creator, with his heart slightly heavy and throat clogged with a lump. It was getting too much.

Dilawar spoke what came in his mind, he apologised, he complained, he cried, he fall down on prostation and he gave sakes, wanting peace in his life, wanting forgiveness of people that died cause of his one mistake.

Asking for forgiveness never felt this heavy, as if he was weighing himself down even more, he sighed and rubbed his hand on his face and sat relaxed, feeling the presence of his wife behind him, she sat leaning to him slightly, he could feel her, he could feel her silence, he asked her another question "Wo...mujhe maaf kardenge na?" Ayesha closed her eyes. Her whole being was paining listening to his pained voice.

[Will HE forgive me?]

"Bilkul...wo rab sattar maon se zayada pyar karne wala hai dilawar.......uske aage sirf aik baar dil se jhukna hota hai.....wo apse kuch nahi magta siwae apki sincerity ke- ap sincere hain na?" She gulped and asked him at last, he immediately nodded. "Mera seena bhari horaha hai ayesha.....mai sona chahta hun"

[Ofcourse, God is loving more than seventy mothers, you need to be sincere and fall infront of him once, you are sincere right?]

[My chest is getting heavy ayesha....I wanna sleep]

His tired voice reach her ear and she nodded robitically, her heart heavy as she stood up and helped him lay down on the bed, she covered him with quilt and let the curtains down, she turned off the light and laid beside him, away from him - leaving him fight his darkness that took him in as soon as he closed his eyes.
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