Trackside Temptation

Chapter Twenty-Five

FRANCESCA

I had a feeling this talk was coming. As much as I despised wanting to think about it, Matt knew I was hurt by my ex-boyfriend. I stupidly let that admission out at our lunch in Austria. But back then, I never thought we'd be in this situation. Snuggled under the moonlight. Comfortable in each other's silence. 

I felt my eyes become heavy as I rewound my memory back to my second year of university. My hands shook as I pictured his face.

"We'd only known each other for two weeks," I began. "But at the time I believed I was experiencing the best weeks of my life." I took a deep breath. "He made it seem as if I was the one. Love at first sight. His soulmate." I laughed. "I was so naïve, thinking the first man who showed some decent interest in me would be my lover."

I let out another sigh. "It started off perfect. Or at least what I thought a perfect relationship should look like. He'd text me every morning. Compliment me every time we'd meet up."

I readjusted myself against Matt. I was becoming restless and anxious, and there was no way I could hide it.

"But about a month into our relationship... his tone started to change. His words became harsh. Cruel even. He'd say things like, you're wasting my energy. You should be grateful I'm even giving you attention. I have three women I could fuck tonight if you don't pleasure me properly." I spat out his insults in the same tone as he did. Matthias gripped me a little tighter.

"I know you're probably thinking why didn't I just leave? But I thought it was normal. I had never been in a relationship before him, and I thought it was normal for him to take out his daily frustrations on me. I thought as partners, we were meant to be there for each other through everything. I thought I was being helpful by being the sponge that absorbed all of his pain, and I figured one day he'd return the favour." I shook my head. "But he'd use my age against me. I was six years younger, and he'd tell me I was weighing him down. He'd say I was holding him back from achieving everything he wanted to do."

I couldn't stop talking now. It was as if I had been holding this in for two years, and it had been eating me alive. I never told my father the full story, he'd just found me hysterically crying on the front porch one day. Hell, I didn't even tell Ayane the extent of it all. She just assumed Sam was a grumpy man who hadn't got his priorities sorted.

"Six months after we'd started dating... on the exact day... I went to check my phone. I wanted to text him about a new restaurant that was perfect for a date." My voice cracked as I spoke. "But the message bounced back. I thought I'd run out of texts, so I checked my phone plan. I had plenty.

I went onto social media to try and message him that way. But I was blocked. One day, he'd just decided that he'd finally had enough of it all and cut me off." My voice cracked again as I sarcastically laughed. "And he didn't even have the balls to tell me that himself."

I felt Matthias take a deep breath, my body rising in time with his chest.

"Sweetheart," he began.

I shook my head. "I know people have it worse, and I shouldn't be complaining but—"

"Francesca, you have every right to feel that way. That man is an abuser and a coward. He took advantage of your kind heart and led you to believe that was the treatment you deserved."

I felt a tear run down my cheek, and I prayed he didn't see it. I hated crying in front of people. I guess that was because Sam would tell me I was pathetic for doing such a weak act.

"I know you're finding it difficult to trust people because of him," Matt continued. "And I don't blame you one bit. But there are so many people out there who would kill to cherish you the way you truly deserve. The real way. God, sweetheart I would make sure you never felt that way again."