UNCONSCIOUS THOUGHTS

Start Over

Y/N POV:

Five entire years, down the drain. You stood in front of an ATM, still in the same dress as you withdrew all the money from your account, your savings account.

You got Connie to take you to Mikasa's with no explanation, then you convinced Mikasa to take you to the bank so you could withdraw the money from your savings. She was waiting in the car parked behind you, you sniffled every now and then while grabbing the money and putting it into your book bag.

It didn't take long and you didn't want to be there for long anyway, you looked pretty suspicious just shoving money into your bag. You zipped the bag up and walked back to the car, setting your bag on your lap and staring forward.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Mikasa took the keys out of the ignition and waited for you to talk.

"He's been lying to me since I met him. My father has been dead for five years." You blurt and hold on to your book bag tighter.

"Oh...I'm so sorry about your f—"

"I don't care that my father is dead." You interrupted sternly and the car goes so silent you can hear your bag crinkling from your hold on it.

"He is the one who murdered him. He was behind it the entire time and still spent hours with me looking at security photos and trackings of my father when he knew he wasn't alive. He tricked me." You blinked and felt a tear roll down your cheek but you wiped it away quickly.

"I'm so sorry...I know how much you liked him—"

"I didn't like him. I've always hated him and nothing has changed...so will you please just drive." You insisted followed by a harsh sniffle.

"Y/n. You did like him and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Even if I did—which I didn't, I don't anymore so could you just drive?!" You sighed and looked out the car window without another word.

"I know what you two did meant a lot to you. It's okay to be upset about him..."

You remained silent, continuing to look out of the window. She reluctantly pulled out of the parking spot and started driving, without continuing the conversation.

EREN POV:

My life has been on pause since I watched y/n leave. I've been spoken to non-stop since then, I haven't slept, and I haven't eaten.

My father was pleased, probably the happiest day of his life to watch me genuinely suffer. I could not speak of it, my mother asked me what happened but I didn't answer. My father wouldn't stop talking, he was giving me a headache—maybe a migraine and I was losing my mind.

"You are the heir to this business and for the past few months, you've done nothing but disrespect it. I will not have it any longer." He continued to remind me, I was tuning him out for the most part.

Every single minute she was gone, I repeated the same thing to myself in my head over and over again. "I had to let her go. It was for her own safety." I should have felt better but I didn't, I felt like shit. The look on her face was the worst part, the crack in her voice when she took the rings off and said I'd taken everything from her now.

I couldn't tell her the whole truth, I wouldn't. Because that meant, she might forgive me and I couldn't let her. I needed her to hate me and stay away from me, if she got far enough she wouldn't have to worry about being kidnapped by my father and tortured by Reiner just because she was my wife. It wasn't fair to her.

She wouldn't risk her life to save mine again and I needed to learn to be okay with that.

But how could I be?