UNCONSCIOUS THOUGHTS

Out

Your hand moves up again and now you're resting it on his shoulder, your fingertips just barely touching his back. You wanted to understand him, you wanted to know where he was coming from. Now that you discovered you two weren't all that different, you were unsure how you were supposed to move forward knowing he could understand you.

"But it's not...fair." You repeated again, your voice was shaky this time and there wasn't a thing you could do to hide it.

"I know." He says softly, he's looking up at you and for the first time in years, you feel every emotion you've been keeping about just crack, crack like a dam about to burst.

You almost let the dam burst, you almost took this opportunity to be vulnerable for the first time in your life but something...something was holding you back.

You back away, this wasn't right. He was correct about you not growing up to be a murderer, he was one and you weren't. He did not care for the lives of others, he'd choked his own friend just because he was nice to you and that wasn't right either.

"Eren, there's been a complication." Armin opens the bedroom door behind you to the left and sticks his head inside the room.

"Shit, am I interrupting?" He asks and looks away but Eren stands up and grabs a shirt from the closet just a few feet away.

"No. What's going on?" He walks out the door with Armin and leaves you to yourself in the bedroom.

Sleep is all you wanted, you were feeling too conflicted with your own thoughts about Eren. You could understand his behavior but that didn't mean you accepted it. You shut the light off and get into bed, not even five minutes after all you hear is Eren shouting and cursing like a sailor.

You don't know what just happened but it had to do with Reiner. You drowned out the sounds of Eren downstairs by listening to your own breath and heartbeat.

——

The following morning, you opened the bedroom door and you were met with Connie directly in front of you.

"I was instructed to not let you leave," Connie states, he doesn't even look at you he's looking at the wall straight behind you.

"Why...?"

"Eren has determined that it is not safe for you to leave." He said strictly and you tried looking behind him to see if you could figure out what was going on.

"Well if it's not safe for me to go anywhere else in the house then how is this room safe?"

"I'm doing what I was told to do." He breathes and you find no comfort in that kind of answer.

"Well tell Eren I'm hungry. If I can't leave then he needs to bring me food."

"Eren isn't here and he won't be for a while." He professed, you squinted at him and narrowed your brows with annoyance.

The one thing you seemed to constantly challenge in life was authority. Something about it was like a fish and a hook, you always took the bait. You hated being told what to do, you did not believe keeping you in this room made any sense at all.

"If I start gnawing on my own arm from hunger, then will I be brought breakfast?" You asked and raised your wounded arm before putting your finger over the bandage, ready to tear it off your skin.

"I can get you breakfast."

"If you leave, how do you know I'll stay in this room while you're gone?" You provoked and you actually watched his brain malfunction right in front of you.

"Shit."

"Does Eren have cameras in the hallway?" You tilt your head and look around at the hallway behind him.