Loving You

XIII. Numb

Tuesday, January 19th, 2016

"So... what do you think?" I'd only just said hello into the phone when I heard Casper's voice rattling off a lot of information all at once. He sounded really excited about it.

"Hold on," I mumbled groggily. "What?" I sat up in bed and glanced at the old clock on the wall directly across from my bed. It was 7:31 in the morning.

"Princess Kelsey wants us to make an appearance at some party happening in Arkhan. Apparently, it's a big deal. We actually hate going to these things. But I don't think I'd really mind going if you came too."

I yawned, trying to wrap my head around what he was saying. "You want me to go to a party with you?" I couldn't believe he'd called me at fucking dawn to ask me about going to some random party.

"Well, it's a music scene thing. If you're not into it, it's fine... I'll let the princess know we aren't going." He definitely sounded disappointed, though. And I felt my insides constrict at being the reason for it.

"No, no. I'll go if it's important to you. When is it? I'll have to make sure someone can watch Bee while I'm gone."

"Well..." Casper mumbled softly. "I was thinking we could bring her with us. I've occasionally seen other kids at these things before."

I hesitated before I responded. I wanted to be as careful as possible. "I don't think that's a good idea, Cas. I don't really want her in the public's eye. I mean, she's still really little." While I tried to keep calm and play it right, every single time Casper was even in the same room as Bexley, my anxiety spiked tenfold. I couldn't let go of the fear of him just deciding one day that I wasn't enough and taking her from me. It was a frequent nightmare I'd been plagued with ever since he'd showed up at Rosie's Diner that day.

"Okay. That's fine. Makes sense. Do you need help finding childcare? The party is in two days. But I was kind of hoping, maybe we'd be able to leave tomorrow, and do a couple of fun things in Arkhan. I mean, if it's just about not wanting her in the spotlight, we could leave her with my parents during the party. I'm sure they'd love to spend some time with her."

"Well... I guess that'd be fine. Let me talk to Gran and Gus. I've got to make sure my shifts can get covered on short notice."

"I'm sure they'll be fine with it." Confidence dripped from his voice and I wanted to be a little bit annoyed, but I knew he was right. If I told them I found a new job and quit with even a day's notice, they'd be thrilled. It was incredible having people like that in my life. But I was terrified to disappoint them.

"Yeah. Probably. Hey, I have a shift at the diner in a couple hours. And I might as well start getting ready. Since I'm up. Can I call you later?" I started to get up and move around my room, slipping a long t-shirt on over my head and heading into my ensuite bathroom.

"Oh. Yeah. Okay. Maybe I'll stop by for some pie later. Have a good day."

"Thanks. You too."

Something about the whole exchange was awkward and weird. But I chalked it all up to the butterflies that invaded my stomach. Had Casper really just asked me to go to an industry event with him? I wanted to go all crazy fangirl, but I knew I had to keep it together. Who the hell could I even talk to about the whole thing, without sounding like a psycho fan or a creepy loser?

Mia Isbelle. That's who.

"Let me get this straight," Mia scooted her chair back loudly and invaded my space in the kitchen, "your longtime, forever crush, Casper freaking Hall, just invited you to some big, fancy party, and you're questioning whether or not you should go?" She looked at me like I was an absolute moron.