Loving You

XI. Aggressive

Tuesday, December 29th, 2015

Casper had been ignoring my texts for almost a week, and I was starting to really get concerned. He'd been so excited about working together. It made me think Ari and Benny said something to him. But then the more rational part of my brain kept suggesting that he was probably just spending time with his family. We weren't anything to each other. He didn't owe me anything.

But it still irritated me. So, on a whim, after dropping Bexley off with Gran and Gus so I could grocery shop, I decided to stop by Casper's apartment first. He'd mentioned renting and renovating the place above Sunflower Farmer's Market on Pearl Street. I'd never been inside the apartments above the store, but I'd seen other people walk in and out the door near the side of the building.

Pretending that I knew exactly what I was doing, I pulled the discreet door open and started walking up the narrow, empty stairwell toward the second floor. It wasn't a tall building. I was almost positive there wasn't even a third floor. Still, as soon as I opened the door at the top of the stairs and stepped into a long, carpeted hallway, I realized I had no idea where to go from there.

Slowly, making my way down the wide corridor that smelled strongly of lemon-scented cleaner, I stopped at the first door that didn't look like a storage room or janitor's closet. It was tall and painted a bright red. There was a peephole above my head and large brass numbers nailed just beneath, #101. I knocked loudly, and tried to quell the panic that rose up inside my throat. My heart beat rapidly against my chest, but I ignored it and forced myself to stay put.

I didn't have to wait long. After only a few seconds the door flew open, and Casper stood in front of me looking like a ratty mess. I would've bet money he hadn't shaved since the last time I saw him. His eyes were bloodshot, and there were dark circles underneath. His clothes were stained and loose, like he'd been wearing them for a couple of days.

"Jesus. What happened to you?" I couldn't stop the words from pouring out of my mouth, even if I'd wanted to. I thought for sure he'd slam the door in my face. He didn't though. Instead, he just turned his back on me and walked inside his apartment without another word. I followed after him quickly, shutting the door tightly behind me. His apartment opened into a small hallway before spitting us out into a large living room/dining room and an open kitchen. It was the biggest apartment I'd ever seen.

Casper flopped onto the couch in his living room, and closed his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Seriously. What's wrong with you?" The Casper I knew only ever let himself look like that if he was high on inspiration and passion. But that definitely wasn't the energy he was exuding.

"Nothing's wrong with me," he snarled, his glare snapping in my direction. I slowly made my way over to the loveseat, catty corner to him. "I just didn't get a lot of sleep the last couple of days. It's none of your business. What are you doing here?"

"You haven't answered my texts." As soon as I said it, I realized how it must have sounded to him. I probably looked like a crazy person. He didn't know me. Why would he respond? I was just some random person who played keys once upon a time.

"Shit. Really? I'm sorry." And he genuinely did sound sorry, which surprised me. He glanced around his messy living room, picking up random piles of clothes and empty takeout boxes, until he found whatever he was looking for and plopped back down in his spot. Turning on his phone, he frowned and glanced back at me, his dark blue eyes clouded with confusion. "When did we talk last?"

"Uhm... middle of the night on Christmas," I responded, probably too quickly. Everything that came out of my mouth made me want to inwardly cringe.

"Goddammit. I was probably being an asshole, huh? I haven't been sleeping lately. I'm sorry about that. What do you need to talk about? You're not about to back out, are you? I thought that practice last week was the start of something incredible." He yawned and laid back against the couch, closing his eyes.