If Without You | Seongjoong

Nevertheless

This one got pretty long, but I didn't want to split it into two chapters :)

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"Oh, please, come in my dear", Seonghwas mother said, a blonde man standing at the front porch. He looked heavenly, wearing a white long shirt with ruffles on the end parts and black pants. His hair was styled back, showing off his undercut. Light makeup coated his face, the eyes standing out with brown shadows on their ends, accentuating his dark orbs.
Hongjoong.

"Thank you for inviting me. Your house truly looks amazing." The blonde stepped inside, eyes wandering around the big white hall. It was almost empty, apart from some furniture that looked more pretty than usable.

His mother waved it off with a small hand gesture. "Actually it's really boring. I thought about bringing in some color."

Seonghwa's eyes found Hongjoong already looking at him, smiling ever so softly. His heart jumped a bit, but he quickly cleared his throat. "Nice to see you again, Hongjoong."

The latter slightly waved at him. "Hongjoong, let me show you around. I'm sure you'll still get lost later on though.", Mrs. Park giggled lightly, proceeding to show him the kitchen.

Seonghwa made his way into the dining room, seating himself towards his fathers left. "I heard your mother talking about our furniture. We could use some color." Seonghwa's father tapped his chin, obviously already thinking about a thoroughly renovation. The younger just sighed.

"He was really nervous about coming here-", Seonghwa began, but his father quickly interrupted him. "Don't worry, I will behave myself." Chuckling he poured himself a glass of white wine.

A few minutes later his mother and Hongjoong returned. "I didn't take him upstairs just yet, considering he seemed pretty hungry." Hongjoong's ears turned red ever so slightly and he quickly seated himself besides Seonghwa.
Throughout the dinner small talk was held. Mrs. Park mainly asked questions about his work, where he studied and how he keeps up with being at university and painting at the same time.

"It's definetly harder than I expected it to be. But I really want to get my degree in art, so I make it work." Hongjoong sipped on his wine as Mr. Park chuckled. "You're a hard working man, I admire that. When I was your age I already married Seonghwa's mother and started to plan out my future buisness."

"I thought about getting into a serious relationship as well, but I didn't find the right person just yet."

"Oh I'm sure you'll find yourself a nice young woman fairly soon.", Mr.Park winked and proceeded to cut his steak.

"Actually", Hongjoong looked at Seonghwa, seemingly hesitating. "Actually I'm gay, so that makes thinks much harder." He awkwardly laughed. Seonghwa sensed that the latter was uncomfortable, not prepared to out himself to someone so unexpectedly.

Mr.Park halted, slowly looking up and towards the young man. "You're what?" He then huffed out a short, loud laugh. "I can't believe it. My son as well thinks that a man will make him happy in the long run. Trust me, you're just trying out things."

The man proceeded to eat, whilst Mrs. Park remained silent, pressing her lips together and side eyeing her husband. Hongjoong started to fidget with his fingers, looking down and Seonghwa felt his heart sting again.

"Father I told you I don't limit myself to one gender. I don't get why you're always so upsed whenever someone mentions they're not straight." He furrowed his brows, trying to stay calm. The conversation quickly took a turn Seonghwa didn't expect and he was afraid Hongjoong wanted to leave.

...He was afraid Hongjoong wanted to leave?

"I don't get you kids these days. God certainly did not want us to turn out gay. How disappointing." Mr.Park shook his head.

Seonghwa's head shot towards Hongjoong, whom's eyes filled with tears slowly. "I-I truly am so-" "Don't you dare apologize Hongjoong!", Seonghwa interrupted him, quickly moving his left hand to grab the latters right. Intertwining their hands in a comforting manner, although his stomach suddendly filled with an airly feeling.

His eyes turned an even darker shade of brown if possible, staring at his father who continued to eat his steak unfazed. Wandering off to his mother who cleared her throat. "Honey, I think you could show Hongjoong around the upper area? Dessert may take a while."

Quickly Seonghwa stood up, dragging the still speechless Hongjoong with him. Together they climbed the stairs, hands still intertwined. "Thank you", the blonde whispered, eyes trained onto the stairs. The older just squeezed his hand, proceeding to bring Hongjoong into his room.

It was as clean as possible, colored in white and grey with a hint of green decoration. Seonghwa liked to go home after a tiresome day and just clean his room. It helped him relax, focused on small tasks whilst listening to his favorite music.

He heard the other slightly gasping, probably in awe with the sheer size of the masters bedroom.

Hongjoong seated himself on the bed, pulling Seonghwa with him.

"I'm really sorry for how my father just reacted. It's-" "It's fine Seonghwa, don't worry. I'm used to people's negative response to my sexuality."
The black haired shook his head, huffing. "No one should be treated like that. I will talk to him in the morning."

Seonghwa's thumb slightly caressed Hongjoongs hand, trying to calm him down. Hongjoong finally raised his head, now looking into Seonghwa's eyes with a hint of sadness.

"I didn't know you liked men either. I mean, I always kind of had the feeling you would and even though this whole evening went way different than I expected I'm kind of glad- so, sorry I'm rambling again" Both men started to laugh. A small tear escaped Hongjoongs right eye, semingly without his notice. Seonghwa slowly rose his right hand to carefully wipe it away with his thumb.

"Don't cry, Joong. I promise he'll soon come to realize just how talented you are. Your sexuality does not define you. And to be frank, I too am pretty happy about the fact you are attracted to men." Seonghwa smiled slightly, his ears turning a reddish color.

Falling for Hongjoong would be dangerous. He would slowly lose himself again, prioritizing whatever they had. Focusing on his private life rather than working on his future. It scared Seonghwa, it scared him so much that he promised himself to avoid relationships until he had reached all of his goals.

But what if a relationship suddenly turned into his goal? What if success no longer was everything he wanted, everything he desired?

And still, with all those thoughts gathered in his mind, he just indireclty confessed that he's grown interested in Hongjoong.

What a fool.

Instead of answering Hongjoong closed the gap between them, throwing his arms around Seonghwa's waist. His head rested on Seonghwa's chest, the hands clawing into his suit.

Seonghwa didn't know what to do with his hands, ultimately deciding on pulling Hongjoong closer whilst crawling his hair. His heart was beating faster than usual and as a giggle escaped Hongjoong he was sure the other had noticed.

"Considering why we are in your room now, confessing how we feel might have been the worst thing to do." Seonghwa huffed out a laugh again, letting himself fall onto the bed and dragging Hongjoong with him.

"Let's not worry about my father's mindset right now. I'm sure you must be exhausted." Seonghwa felt a nod against his chest, earrings dangling ever so slightly.

Before dining with Seonghwa's parents, Hongjoong had been in the studio to work on a new project after he went to uni for an important exam.

Both men fell into silence whilst Seonghwa proceeded to lay them down comfortably. Soon after Seonghwa felt Hongjoong relax in his hold, breath evening out.

They would have to talk about this tomorrow. Seonghwa would have to confront his father once more regarding his and Hongjoong's sexuality. He would have to make sure to put some distance between himself and the blonde man again.

But deep down he wondered if it was too late, if he had already grown too attached to the one laying in his arms.

After a while Seonghwa also closed his eyes, dessert long forgotten.

Before Seonghwa fell asleep he noticed someone walk into his room and pulling a blanket over Hongjoong and his body, then closing the door soundlessly again.