Plus Size Prisoner of Society

To Me

Date of Entry: 7.21.23

This is not to brag
It's not even a toast
It's a letter to myself
Cause she's been through the most

To the girl who feels awkward
Or ugly in her skin
To the girl who doesn't believe
That "Beauty lies within"

To the girl who doesn't trust
That this look is just a phase
To the girl who thinks the loneliness
Is the only thing that stays

To the girl who lives in anger
Mad at the world, with rage
To the girl who feels society
Has locked her in a cage

The loneliness? It leaves
And the cage? Up to you
But the key's in your possession
Honestly, it's true

You decide how you look
You decide how you talk
You decide what others see
From how you dress to how you walk

You can strut in confidence
Or scurry like you're meek
People will accept you
With each passing day, each week

The love you show others
You have to show yourself
Embrace each curve and roll
Embrace the pain that you have felt

Each scar marks your journey
Each insult builds your strength
Knowing that a bully
Will always go to great lengths

To tear you down from the inside
You don't show it at first
But when you're in your room
That's when you show how much it hurt

You listen to your music
Telling yourself it isn't true
"No I'm not ugly"
But in your heart you knew

"Pretty" wasn't a word
The public would ever use
Their words would beat you
Leaving invisible black and blues

Bruises that ache
In the middle of the night
Trauma that you
Held on to so tight

You carried them
In every conversation that you had
You'd smile and make some jokes
So they wouldn't see you sad

The fat one of the group's 
Gotta be good for something
Your brains or your jokes,
But let me tell you one thing

You don't have to always show
How independent you are
You don't have to bottle your feelings
And keep them in a jar

You don't have to eat "just one"
If you're hungry for more
Know no one's looking at you
Not now, not even before

That anxiety you felt
Was built up over time
But you made it through the hard part
So I could be just fine

Yes I'm the adult and
You're the child
Yet I wouldn't have made it far
Not an inch or a mile

If it wasn't for you
Choosing to wake up everyday
If it wasn't for you
Ignoring what others had to say

To the twelve year old
Who chose to hold her head up high
To the girl who chose to
Never listen to the lies

The one who didn't let the darkness
Swallow her up whole
You don't understand
How much you play a role

Your my backbone when I'm nervous
And want to run away
You give me the strength
To say what I have to say

You remind me that we've come too far
To turn back and go home
You remind me I'm a bad bitch
Even when I'm standing alone

When I look in the mirror
It's you I see, I do
But it's not the little fat girl
It's the hero I see in you

I hope that I've grown into
A woman you're proud to be
I hope I did you right
I hope I did right by me