Falling Twice [Harmione]

Stay with Me

2006 Present

Her Harry disappeared again as the other Harry came back after he revealed a brief glimpse of his real feelings in the kitchen that first morning. The Harry whose face was expressionless, green eyes dark and watchful. When the day came for her first follow-up and counseling appointment, Hermione felt like she was some prisoner he was escorting about.

The healers had not wavered from their initial analysis, that her mind was too fragile for further magical intervention. As such, she was starting the first in a series of visits with a mind healer to try to help her recover the memories through more conventional methods.

When Harry had continued to follow behind her as she approached the healers' door from the waiting room, Hermione paused and turned to Harry. "I'd prefer to meet the healer alone."

His nostrils had flared and she could see the leap of temper in his eyes before he shuttered it, smoothly his emotions away. "Fine," Harry said evenly, going and sitting in a chair in the corner of the room, his legs kicked out as he leaned back, his eyes locked on her as if she might vanish.

His eyes felt like a weight as she turned her back to enter the counselors' room and closing the door behind her was a bit of a relief. She hadn't been sure how easily she would have been able to speak to the healer if Harry had insisted on joining her.

"Nice to see you again, Mrs. Potter." A familiar no nonsense voice greeted her and her eyes flew to the elderly man sitting near the far side of the small room. The healer looked almost the same as he had during her addiction counseling sessions with him.

"Healer Thomas!" Hermione started to rush forward before she stopped, glancing behind her to the closed door. "Does-does-"

"Does your husband know you've seen me before?"

Hermione nodded tensely. She couldn't imagine ever wanting Harry to know how weak she had been.

"I couldn't say-" Hermione inhaled sharply. "-but in my professional opinion, no."

"Why is that?"

"This isn't the first time we've seen each other since your addiction therapy concluded. We passed by each other a few days after your wedding made the papers."

"My wedding." Hermione repeated to herself quietly.

The healer's face was professional, but his eyes were kind as they kept her gaze. "You seemed very happy. Very..." The healer trailed off, trying to find the right description. "Settled, as if you had finally found what you needed. You saw me, but we didn't greet one another. My work is very private, so it would make sense that there would be no acknowledgment of our acquaintance in public."

"Because Harry didn't know." Hermione's gaze dropped from the clear blue eyes of the healer.

"Very likely."

"Do you think I'm weak because I didn't tell him? To hide it from him?"

"I would never make the error of thinking you are a weak witch, Mrs Potter. I know too much about your capabilities."

"Don't—" Hermione stopped herself from finishing her sentence. Swallowing the words as she went and sat in the big soft blue chair opposite the healers' desk. She lowered her head, her hands clenched on her knees.

The healer observed her shrewdly before asking, "Don't call you by your name?"

"It feels so strange. Wrong. Like..." Hermione's voice lowered, and she glanced briefly toward the door. "Like a betrayal."