If only my sorrys meant something

2 weeks

Bojans POV

There was no hope left.

He stared at the message with tears forming in his eyes, with his heart punching all his other organs.

How on earth could he mess up so bad?

He never wanted to hurt Jere, but he may never see him again. Or hear his beautiful voice. Or hug him. Or look at his gorgeous blue eyes which have untold secrets in them.

The words circled his mind and all he could do was cry, his eyes matching the droplets it poured outside. 

He thought they could last for ever, but it wasn't meant to be.

He just cried and told himself it'll be okay, but how would it be okay? The love of his life, used to be them love of his life, on the other side of the world, and wanting to break up.

How could he be so stupid and selfish to ever do that to him? All Jere did was care about him, and all he could to in return was cheat on him?

He walked to the kitchen and took a glass out his shelf, and then picked up a bottle of vodka.

At this point, no one cares about him. No one understands him.

He poured the poison into the cup and drank it, hoping it would kill him somehow.

Nothing can make him feel the happiness that he used to. The truth it, Jere was his happiness. But he took advantage of it.

He always messes up somehow.

He drank 1 cup. Followed by another,  which led to a 3rd, 4th and finally a 6th.

By now, all he could see was the kitchen spinning and all the colors embracing him.
He swore he saw Jere for a minute, and hugged him.

Was this how he was going to die, knowing that no one cared for him?

He didn't even realize he gotten around 10 missed called from Kris.

Fuck him, this is all his fault. Only if he didn't pick up the phone. Only if he didn't let his horny self get the best of him.

He went over to the couch, grabbing another drink (obviously) and saw something left behind.

Which said Jeres name on it.

He probably left something behind, so he just picked it up, and there was his name.

For Bojan<3
My love<3

He thought he forgot how to speak english for a second. He still left him a gift? Why? Why? Why? Why would he do that after the way Bojan acted?

It took him a couple of minutes, just staring at the small box attached with a letter, to open it.

And he did, starting with the letter first.

The first line,

To my forever Bojan,

He knew by the first line that Jere meant it back then, but now? He probably regrets everything. He hates him now.

He carried in reading.

Your smile makes me want to live another day, your voice makes me want to live another week, your laugh makes me want to live another year, and you, you Bojan, you make me want to live forever.

I love you so much and I never will stop, no matter what happens, only death can take you away from me, but I will never stop loving you. You are the reason why I'm not scared to die, as one day, we will be in paradice forever, next to each other and no worry of the distance between us.

You are my love, the love of my life. I always want to be with you,  wake up next to you, see you smile and cry.

When ever I wake up alone, I look outside, and all I can see is clouds covering the sun, hiding it. But when I'm with you, all I see is us, our future. All I see if the sun, guiding me to you.

You are the best thing to ever happen to me Bojan, so I hope you enjoy today, and I got a little surprise for you.

<3

Love from Jere.

~

Bojan didnt even realize how badly he fucked up until now, he still loved Jere. But now? There's nothing, it's all gone.

His eyes, formed a tune of tears which streamed down his face and wails of pain escaped from his mouth. The only clear word coming out was, Jere.

He held the letter tight and read if several of times, leaving him shattered.

What would he do if he never met him? Would it hurt less? Probably because none of this would even happen.

But he's happy he had the chance to be called Jeres. But now, that's all gone. And he wants it back. Forever will.

He sat on his couch for an hour just sobbing before looking at the black box left behind as well.

He picked it up and hoped it wasn't anything to expensive as it would make Bojan feel extremely guilty.

He already felt guilty, but that would be unbearable.

He opened it and to his surpsie, it was an beautiful silver necklace with a heart right in the middle.

Of course.

He picked it up and looked at it, it said his name.

Bojan

He flipped it over to see,

I love you
From Jere

How could Bojan be such a horrible person to do this to the only person he loved?

Why did Bojan have to go to thay club and meet that strange women.

She ruined it all.

No, he ruined it all.

He was the only one to blame.

His life wasn't anywhere near to good anymore. He wanted to hear the sweet melody of Jeres voice again. So he went through his camera roll to see multiple videos of Jere.

Today, he probably cried more than ever.
Today, he probably lost more than ever.
Today, he probably didn't want to live another day.

Tomorrow, he was going to hurt again.
Tomorrow, he was going to regret everything again.
Tomorrow, he was going to regret meeting Jere Poyhoinen.

How could someone hurt so badly, when he was the one who was the villain?

The rain poured, but this time, from his eyes, and the sky mimicked him.