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"I'm too much in my head, did you notice?" 💫
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The move from New York to Houston wasn't as easy as I had thought. I had felt that it was just moving in, putting your boxes down, and getting situated. But I had never considered the emotional ties you would have once you saw your old home fade behind you. I wasn't thinking about how bad it would hurt, to see your dad wave off to you while wiping his tears. That didn't come to mind until we got to the airport. The smell of the place, the noise, and the big planes let me know that I was far from home, and I was never coming back.
Rihanna hadn't thought much of it, as she was on her phone the majority of the time, laughing and showing me memes that she had assumed I was going to crack up at. But I didn't. Once we landed in the area, everything was so different. It wasn't the usual city lights and multiple crowded buildings that I was used to, it was more of a small town that was pretty looking, but had little to no stores in it.
I guess I like it more, because it's not overwhelming, the distractions, the music, the different shops selling different things. Of course, I got used to it, but I never truly never liked it at all.
Now, we where sitting down in the just finished dining room, the house we moved in was two stories, in a nice neighborhood. My mom wanted us to walk around the place to say hi, but Rihanna would never waste her time like that, and I? Just couldn't and wouldn't speak at all. It's become an advantage more than a disadvantage because I would rather save myself from embarrassment and not talk to anyone.
I have social anxiety, so bad to the point where talking or thinking about talking makes me feel sick and I go into a panic. I also am Neurodivergent, though I didn't know it until I was in the 5th grade. I was always in different classes, hating things that went off from what I'm used to, and panicked when it came to loud noises. I'll never forget that dreadful day, before the 8th grade promotion when my mom had to take me home early because I was too overwhelmed and wouldn't stop crying.
She had so much disappointment in her eyes, while I stood there, scratching my skin with my nails. I felt so bad for her, and I still do. I could never do anything right without any assistance, and I know Robyn is pretty tired of me as well. Whenever she had to help me, she scoffs loudly and has an attitude, while all I could do is hug her arm and whisper how sorry I was.
