jinx's new life

6: worries

Hi I'm really sorry that I haven't updated this story in a while. I've been really struggling with my mental health but I'm getting help so hopefully I can update this story more. I haven't abandoned it and I just wanted to thank everyone for reading it and supporting me and I just wanted to also thank Justa_RandomReader_ for all of your messages and comments they do really mean alot to me and encouraged me to finally finish this chapter. So thank you so much I really appreciate it.

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She sat on the stained couch, tinkering with a piece of scrap metal. Or at least attempting to under the distracting gaze of Lux. She could feel her eyes burning into her. She looked up to see her watching from across the room with a smirk.

"What?" She groaned with annoyance.

"Nothing, you're just so focused on your work and your little bump is adorable " Lux giggled.

She's judging you

She thinks your weak

"It's not" she stood up fast as she spoke and a wave of dizziness consumed her.

"Shit Jinx sit down" Lux ran to help her "you need to be more careful"

Jinx stood back up, pushing Lux off of her as she did heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?"

"I need to get more scrap, I'll be back later" she said as she slammed the door.

She just wanted to get away. All the emotions she felt were becoming too much. She needed to distract herself.

She doesn't care

"SHE DOES JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK" she screamed at the voice that once belonged to her brother, completely unaware of the people watching her outburst. She could feel the stares. So she did the one thing she did best. She ran.

It felt like all she did was run lately. She ran from Ekko, she ran from zaun and now she was running from Lux. She only stopped when she was alone. Just her and her thoughts.

Will you ever stop running JINX

Oh and mylo. She could never out run him.

She wanted to scream, to shout, to do anything. But she just cried.

What was she going to do? That's all she could think of lately.

Would she continue to live with Lux? Or would she leave like everyone else?

You left last time

"I know, but what else could I do?" she whispered. She collapsed onto the ground, cradling her bump. It was all she had left. Her baby would properly leave her too as soon as it had a chance.

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She pushed herself through the door to their apparent and sat on the couch lazily. Her earlier meltdown had exhausted her. She could hear Lux in the kitchen.

She was just happy to sit down by herself. Her Swollen feet ached from the walk and a headache started to form. She wanted to just hide in her room and sleep but she knew that she owed Lux an apology for shouting earlier. She didn't know why she lashed out; she just felt so lost lately. She wanted Ekko or even her sister to be with her. But that wouldn't happen either. She'd jinx them more than she already has.

They left you because your WEAK

they'd never want to see you again, they'd be happy your gone, JINX

She didn't notice Lux taking the seat next to her.

"Jinx you're finally back, I'm sorry about what I said before I didn't mean anything by it"

Jinx continued to look down at her hands. Unable to face Lux as she spoke.

"No it's fine, I'm sorry for running, I don't know what's wrong with me lately" she could feel tears threatening to escape but she held them back. She wouldn't give anyone else a reason to see her as weak.

"Jinx it's fine, really, I know you must have a lot going on but I'm here for you" Lux placed a comforting hand on Jinx's shoulder.

Why was Lux being so nice? She didn't deserve it. Why couldn't she see that she was a jinx? How long did she have left until she jinxed it again and hurt everyone?

"If you ever want to talk I'll be here" Lux must have noticed her going into her head again. Could she tell Lux the truth? Where would she even start?

She'll leave as soon as she knows you're a jinx.

You'll be alone again

"I understand if you're not ready to talk yet but the offer still stands, whenever you're ready" Lux calmly spoke as she stood up and made her way to the small kitchen.

Maybe, just maybe Lux wouldn't leave her. Maybe they could even be friends.

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Jinx rested her head on the cold toilet seat. She hated this. Morning sickness again. Her baby was already punishing her before it was even born.

She couldn't help but imagine what it would be like in a different world. What would happen if she stayed with ekko. Would he be there with her? Holding her hair back as she threw up. Holding her as she fell asleep. A part of her longed for that to be reality. But she knew the truth. If she were to see the firelights again she would most likely be executed on sight. Or would they wait for her to have her baby and then kill her? She couldn't think of a cruller fate. To give birth and have her baby ripped from her arms. But maybe that would be for the best. For her baby to never know who she was. The child of an insane monster.

You've already cursed it

She stood up and climbed back into her bed. She just wanted to sleep. If she slept she couldn't think. She just didn't want to think anymore.

When she finally drifted off to sleep. The nightmares hit. She dreamt of her child. She held her baby and felt contempt. She never thought she could create something so perfect. Next minute there was banging on the door and her baby started crying the enforcers broke through followed by the firelights. She screamed as they ripped her baby from her arms and held her down as she heard her babys cries. Then she saw her sister, Violet and next to her was Ekko. The boy she longed to see. But they were staring at her with eyes filled with anger and disappointment. They were repeating one word over and over.

"JINX"

She wanted to run again, she wanted her baby. She looked around the room desperately for her but she was gone.

Then she violently woke up to see Lux holding her down trying to get her attention. "Jinx, Jinx it's ok, calm down. What's wrong? You were screaming"

"WHERE IS SHE?" She screamed as she pushed Lux away.

"Where's who?" She looked confused. Not understanding who Jinx was looking for.

"MY BABY, please, my baby, where is she?" Jinx pleaded sobbing as she spoke.

Lux looked at Jinx, finally understanding the situation. "Sshh it's ok, it was just a dream, you and your baby are both ok" lux spoke softly. Her voice was comforting, bringing Jinx back to reality.

Jinx threw herself at Lux, embracing her in a tight hug as she sobbed into her shoulder.

"I'm so scared Lux, I don't know what's going to happen"

"It's going to be ok Jinx, we'll figure it out together" she returned Jinx's embrace.

"Promise you won't leave like everyone else, please" she felt so desperate she didn't want to be alone through this. She probably looked pathetic but it didn't matter, she just wanted reassurance.

"Jinx I promise, I'm not going to leave you, no matter what"