Three Months

Chapter Twelve

“So how was it?”

            Jude’s staring straight out the window shield in front of him. He’s staring so intensely that I wonder if he even cares how my “lesson” with Luke went.

            And not so surprisingly, after our talk about Jude and secrets, I texted the man in question to come and get me. Somewhere along our one month friendship we traded numbers. I can’t exactly pinpoint when, because all I remember is scrolling through my contacts list due to boredom and see ‘Jude Andrews’ in it. I kind of sort of freaked out at first before texting him and telling him to meet me at the café because I was bored.

            He was already there.

            “Paisley?”

            I turn to look at Jude. “What?”

            “How was the lesson with Luke?” he asks, looking in my direction for a split second before turning back toward the road. Safety first. “Did you like it?”

            “Eh,” I say, shrugging.

            “Can you play the guitar now?”

            I shake my head. “No. I’m just assuming that Luke gave up on me. I mean, he shook his head and had a look on that said ‘I’m terribly sorry Paisley but you’re annoying, and you can’t play the guitar to save your life’.”

            Jude lets out a short laugh. “That’s what his look said?”

            “Yep.”

            There’s a silence in the car just like every other time we drive together.  I wouldn’t say it’s an uncomfortable silence, but I wouldn’t say it’s a kind of silence that I could endure every day. Honestly, it always feels like there’s something left unsaid between us. Thinking this reminds me of what Luke said.

            You will discover the truth within time.

            Within time? What’s that supposed to mean? I don’t want to wait for Jude to trust me. I’ve never done anything to prove him differently, and it just pretty much sucks that he won’t tell me what’s going on in his life even after I told him about my parents. Then again, Luke was right about that too.

            Would you count it for something? he had asked.

            And the even sucks more than his last statement, because he’s right. There’s no way around it. He’s right. If I were Jude and I had a big secret like Luke is making it out to be, then I probably wouldn’t tell it to anyone.

            And it’s actually kind of ironic because I do have a big secret that I don’t want to go around telling everyone. Even Jude.  And Luke’s right. I wouldn’t count it for something. Being told something about my parents? That’s nothing. Kids everywhere are being neglected these days. It’s a big deal, yeah, but people usually only make a riot about it if the kid’s being abused.

            I’m not being abused. Mentally, sure. But physically? No, I’m not.

            “Jude?”

            He turns the radio down so that we can speak properly and not have to yell at each other. “Yeah?”

            I try my best to not overthink my words. If I do that, then I end up regretting them. “Would you tell me if something was bothering you?”