The Real You || Hyunjin Fanfic [ON HOLD]

✧CHAPTER - 5✧

HYUNJIN'S POV:

I wish Chan hyung was here to advice me on solo debuting, everything's just so hectic and out of place. It wasn't like this as a group. Solo career is definitely no joke.

I completed the paperwork regarding my new single and started going to the elevator to leave JYP for the time being.

Isn't that....?

"Wait, where did you get that locket?" I asked the woman who had my capsule locket wrapped around her wrist, she looks like a foreigner so i chose to speak english.

She looked kinda nervous but respectfully returned the locket to me, said she found it in the black sedan.

I must've dropped it before, gosh I'm becoming careless these days.

As soon as the elevator gate opened, she started lowkey sprinting away as if some monster was on it's way to devour her. I have no clue so i am just standing here watching her run away while her companion hurriedly follows her.

"Welp I guess she got some urgent business" i say to myself while slowly going towards to exit.

I am on my way back home but the thoughts of Felix's visit here to meet me keeps running in my mind.

Why did he need to come? Wasn't he gonna come back after all the 00z came back from military?

It would've been normal in other circumstances but as of now, things are different. We aren't the way we used to be before.

1 DAY AGO

"Yongbok?" I say with a confused look at his unknown arrival.

"Hey Hyunjin! How's it goin-"

"Why are you here?" I say with a serious tone.

"Hyunjin.... Look I know how things are right now but can't i visit to celebrate my best friend's solo debut?" He says with an awkward smile.

"Well I think it's just friends now Yongbok." I said while looking at the floor.

Silence engulfs the room for a considerable amount of time.

"I guess..... I'll leave then, i just wanted to say congratulations on your new step of solo debuting" he said with a sad smile.

I said nothing. Yongbok left the room without any futher conversation.

PRESENT:

"I'm home" I said as soon as i entered my house.

"Welcome back, dinner's gonna be ready in 30 minutes, freshen up hyun-ah" mom shouted from the kitchen.

There is so much going on in my mind right now that i feel like a headache is not that far away from knocking my door. First Yongbok, then the debut and now that weird woman at JYP. I still can't understand why she panicked so much. Did she know me? No no, that can't be, she would've atleast gave a few signs of knowing me.

Not to brag but ig she got flustered by my looks? I mean whatever.

Things changed so much.

All 8 of us have come so far

Chan hyung got married, hell he's gonna become a father soon. Why does it feel like the world has gone so far ahead of me and I'm just......stuck in one place, unable to move further no matter how hard i try. I feel so helpless. This feeling has settled with me for good or for bad but it's just permanently there.

I don't think that any sort of miracle could change the way i am right now. Ever since i debuted in JYP, i have only ever been appreciated for my looks, loved only because i look good. The concept of love that i have will never let me believe in true love because of how the world has been perceiving me, one of the main reasons why i don't think i can fall in love. I feel like anyone who'll claim to love me will only do so for my looks and looks alone.

Snap out of it Hwang Hyunjin, nobody's gonna care about your views

My deep thoughts are probably just a waste of time for people to come across it and maybe me too.

"Dinner's ready son" i hear my mom calling from downstairs. I quickly step down the stairs while Kkami follows me consistently barking. I eat my dinner and head straight to bed, i don't have anymore room for thoughts to crowd my brain. I feel like if i stayed awake any longer then my head will most probably burst out with all the thoughts.

Y/N'S POV:

Out of all the things that could have happened, why did God have to do this to me. Any other idol was okay but Hwang Hyunjin? It hurts in my chest to see him. Back in the days i always thought that this man had a big part of himself that he didn't show to any of his fans. I mean reel life and real life are completely different for all celebrities but I used to think very deeply about the fact that how Hyunjin also hides things from his fellow members.

I loved his perception of love, it resonated with mine, part of the reason i said before that he was really similar to me. I always viewed Hyunjin as a lover, who was full of love but afraid to express it, afraid that people will only love him for his "good looks". It broke my heart every single time to think that way. Of course he is beautiful and of course his looks are unmatched but living with the constant fear of not being loved by the soul is truly heart breaking. I wanted to convey this message to him, that time, i wanted to say a million things to him but it wasn't possible. It isn't possible.

I used to think about him so much that it wasn't good for me. Main part of the reason i stopped watching their content. It hurt me every single time i saw his face at one point. I still admire him. His hardwork, consistency and passion towards his dreams was what made me achieve my dream. He is my number 1 inspiration, he's my idol.

"Y/n let's get to bed, you have been sitting there staring at the floor blankly for 1 hour now, I'm not even gonna ask you about that guy anymore, just get some sleep, okay?" Yeri said with an extremely concerned look. She's my roommate. I would've told her everything's that going on inside my head if it was not cringey enough already. I mean who am i to think about an idol so deeply when i don't know shit about him.

Meh.

I finally cozy up in my bed and close my eyes. I don't think i can muster up any more thoughts in my brain. My head will explode, seriously. I am also gonna have a pretty hectic week of work from tomorrow, better buckle up.

I'm definitely gonna resort to black magic so that I don't bump into that man again༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

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A/n: this one's a short chapter cuz big things are coming up ahead👍🏻✨

Alsooooo go stream the MV for "FNF", one of Stray Kids' song from their 5-STAR album!!!!!!!🤗🤗