Teasing Mr. Fischbach: MarkiplierxReader {Dirty} (18+) ✔

Chapter 15- Sacrifice (The End?)

"So I guess you're not coming to school today either," Juilet huffed at me from the other end of the phone. I sat uncomfortably on the ground, resting my temple against the cool rough bark of the tree behind me and stared blankly at the grass beneath me. "I know, I haven't been to school in a few days but I promise I'll go on Monday. I just can't face him right now." -"O-ka...but.. you.. Kyle...par...later..."

Her speech was very broken, but I got the gist of what she was trying to say. I tore the phone away from my ear and took a look at the screen to find that out here in the forest area, it just wasn't getting good reception. I managed to catch it just as the 1 bar I did have turned into 'No Service' and then the call dropped.

I shoved my now useless phone into my jeans pocket and leaned back against the tree watching the ripples in the pond. All this week instead of going to school I've been coming out here for a few hours a day just to make my parents think I've gone. I may be an adult, but I still get lectured when I don't go to school. It seemed to be the only place where my mind could shut up for once. I could just get lost in my serene surroundings or the tranquil sounds of absolute silence. I could finally see why Mr. Fischbach says he does most of his thinking out here. It was just so peaceful, how could you not. 

Being out here for several hours every day over the last couple of days still somehow managed to make me feel as if the bond Mr. Fischbach and I shared never went away. Staring up through the trees, and looking out into the clearly light blue sky as the sun had finally just come out for the day, brought me back to memories of just last week when we were out here.

I could still feel his warm skin against mine as we made passionate love under the beautiful night sky only mere feet from where I was sitting now. I could still hear his rhythmic heartbeat against my ear as I laid my head against his bare chest. However regardless if I wanted them to be or not, those times were over- nothing could ever be the same.

Over the last several days I've been coming out here to the creek because somehow it helped me cope. It was a reminded that once upon a time, I did feel special, I did feel beautiful and I did feel loved. Even if he never quite said those words, he never had an issue convincing me that was the way he felt. I knew those days were gone, but somehow being out here managed to ease the pain of knowing that because it felt as though they never disappeared.

In my mind, I could still see the shadows of his face as the moonlight danced across his cheekbones that night. It was like I could still sense him here with me because this place is such an important part of him, and that made it special to me too. It was comforting to be out here to reflect on our memories shared because so long I was here, he was too.

Some would probably consider doing this pathetic but what else could I do? If I sat at home I'd only stir over everything, and if I go to school it'll just be sheer torture. Coming out here to reflect and reminisce was the only thing that made sense to me. It gave me a peace of mind and somehow felt as if I was getting a bit of closure.

Being left alone with only my thoughts really helped see things clearer. It helped to reach the realization of how selfish I was to push love in his direction. He didn't ask for this, I came on to him. He was only doing what a normal guy does when a pretty girl wants his attention. I realized I was wrong to take it out on him. However, even then, I knew I was right to walk away.

After losing track of time and spending a good few hours out by the creek I decided it was time to head back home. I stood up and swept my bag up from off the ground and began my trek back up the hill. Leaving the wooded area I felt like I was a Native American who just completed a spiritual journey and managed to achieve self-enlightenment.

It may have taken several days to come to a conclusion but, I was convinced that even though I'd be hurt for a while, it was by my own hand that lead me to this and as much as I'd like to pass the blame on to him, it wasn't his fault.