Alice's Nightmares

The Willow

When the morning light finally shed its rays onto our tents, a loud chorus of zipping filled the main entrance as people eagerly began their mornings.. I bumped Emily lightly hoping to wake her. She rolled over to face me, glaring quite intently.

"Apologies, Emily." I laughed as I struggled to change in the cramped space of the tent..

"I hate mornings." She grumbled, unzipping her sleeping bag. After we were both dressed, we left our tent in search of breakfast. The brisk morning air caused me to shiver and pull what thin clothing I had tighter around myself. When we got to the coolers, there was coffee and biscuits being handed out. I searched the crowd for Ian. I spotted him handing out food. Our eyes met and he smiled. He pulled someone from the crowd and handed them the biscuits he carried. He jogged over to me, pulling me into a hug. It was a warm, and almost even familiar embrace. I snuggled up against him trying to fight off the cold air enveloping me.

"Goodmorning," Ian whispered in my ear. "Hungry?"

"Sure." I replied, trying to push the lack of sleep away. He grabbed my frigid hand and pulled me to a large area in which the ground was covered in blankets. We sat on a knit blanket and began eating our biscuits. Ian kept his arm around me as I struggled to stay warm.

"Goodmorning, guys." Isaac greeted us with Emily at his side. They sat next to us already having finished their breakfast. Emily curled up on Isaac's lap falling asleep as he played with her hair. I stared longingly at them, wishing Ian and I could be like that. Smooth, and relaxed. After finishing my last few delectable sips of coffee, I couldn't resist the urge to lean in against him wishing I'd slept more. He kissed the top of my head gently after I settled in. I looked up at him, staring deep into his green eyes. I wished I could just remember. I wished it could feel the same. He took this the wrong way, and bent his head to kiss me. On instinct, I ducked away. I felt like I would be lying if I kissed him. There were still too many unanswered questions. Too many memories lost. I didn't even know him anymore, despite our lengthy past. I didn't dare look back up to see the damage I'd done. How much longer could I go on like this?

"Luke, Zane. Nice to see you guys again." I looked up as Ian greeted the twins. I smiled at Luke and started to relax. He winked at me before sitting down across from Ian and I. I bit my lip knowing there was no way Ian didn't see that. My eyes dropped back down. This was becoming really complicated really fast. Without thinking, I stood up and started to walk away hastily.

"Alice?" Ian called after me. I could hear Emily telling Ian to stay. I jogged out of the crowded entryway and back to the barren balcony. I paced back and forth trying to walk off my emotions. Why does Ian even bother with me?

"Alice, what's going on?" Emily placed her hand on my shoulder, trying to get me to look up from my feet.

"Nothing," I replied, trying to stay composed. "Just give me a minute."

"Are you sure?" Emily asked, not looking convinced.

"Yeah.," I replied, finally looking up at Emily.

"Okay. Don't be long. We have a lot to get done today." I nodded in response. After she left, I turned around and looked up at the vibrant blue sky wishing I was back home with my family. Not the family I left, but the family we had before Father disappeared. I sat down, my back leaning against the railing. I drifted off to sleep needing to regain those missed hours.

IAN

"What had happened to her all those years we were apart? She promised if she ever left, she'd never forget me..." My thoughts enveloped me. I loved her more than my own life, but the girl that sat next to me this morning wasn't her. I should have anticipated this. I knew the consequences of living in the World damaged your memories of places like Wonderland. I was so sure, so hopeful, that if the memories were attached to strong emotions like love and fear, they'd pull through. I guess I was wrong.