The deconstruction of Eliz

Chapter 9 Gossip Girl

And here comes Monday. Is there any more terrifying phrase than that? I spent pretty much the entire weekend with my laptop and Sky. I am not thinking, just eating and remembering unpleasant moments. Do you want to quiet your mind? Eat, and if it is chocolate, better. Follow me for more tips.

I am on my way to the office; the weather is cold, but I like the feeling. I try to enjoy the little details on the way and listen to Sara Bareilles's Brave in my headphones, just one ear and the other free to keep alert to my surroundings. Trying to raise my spirits, find the courage I lack, and be able to work with less disdain. Finding the motivation to go to work is hard. Despite my reluctance, I cannot afford to stay home. It is not just the money; my mind would torment me if I did not occupy it with something.

Let us look at the bright side. Alan will not be here today; there is no corporate event, just a regular day. So, I Skip any uncomfortable situations or attempt to engage with him.

I get to the office and go to make coffee. Most of my co-workers have not arrived. I grab my bag and walk to the bathroom. I enter the cubicle and hear the door. Right away, I recognize Estefany's voice talking to someone. I can't hear the other person enough to identify her.

—Do you see a further explanation? How is someone like him going to show any interest in talking to someone like her? — says Estefany.

The other voice answers: — I do not know, work things, coordination of future activities.

To which Estefany replies; — nothing to do with it. He would communicate it to a superior and then another to her.

The other person says, but it is hard for me to listen because they turn on the tap.: — I do not think they were talking outside of work issues. What can they have in common?

Estefany replies; — absolutely nothing! He would not even see her twice. It was pure politicking, giving the illusion of a labor union and teamwork.

I now recognize the other voice as Kimberly of course, she says — I do not know, but he talked to her for a while...

I do not hear anymore because she opened the bathroom door.

Leaving the cubicle, I go straight to the sink, noticing the little flecks of makeup, touching it up to be perfect all day. Is that what I lack? The« plus» of makeup, hairdressing, nails, etc. I think in reflection mode.

I am not upset by what they said. Analyzing and trying to find the logic, I believe appearance and personality define that success. I look at them and see beauty and self-confidence. People who exhibit respect are more likely to receive it in their interactions and opportunities. That is why men like Alan pay attention to women like Estefany. Power calls power.

For lunch, I prefer going to the dining room 15-20 minutes before it closes. It is calmer, and I enjoy eating without the hustle and bustle around me. I bought a book today: ghostgirl. I have wanted to start this for a while now. Just when I was about to take my first bite of the sandwich, I noticed the sound of the chair beside me.

It is Estefany with a calm smile but calculating eyes. I wait for her to speak, not knowing what to say. She has never sat in the dining room with me. Does she need anything? Can't she wait for me to be at the desk? While lunchtime is valued, she disregards my importance.

She opens her mouth and tells me casually, —«Ghostgirl? » I have not heard of that book—. She did not come here to ask that.

I still could not figure out why she sat down. I respond with a simple — okay — and return my focus to my plate.

It is disturbing that she is next to me. When is she going to leave? I do not want to confront her. Feeling her deep breath in frustration, I look up.

— Would you like a coffee with your lunch? I am going to serve one for myself.— To which I respond in shock. — Okay, thank you.