Freedom. (bxb, shifter)

Chapter 9

a.n little bit of death mentioned near the end of the chapter just a little warning. please let me know your thoughts xx

I was a man. I wasn't me anymore. The breaths were coming faster and faster, the panic rising in my throat constricting me. I felt like a prey animal that was caught in the jaws of a predator. The jaws slowly clamping down more and more. I tried to raise my paws to check there wasn't something in my fur, but when white flesh started making its way up instead of brown fur it stressed me out even more.

I looked to Ryker for answers, how I was a bear before closing my eyes and now opening them as a man. He seemed to just stare back at me.

"Bear, you shifted. It's going to be okay. I'm here." I don't know why but knowing that the alpha was here with me seemed to calm me. Something moved in my chest and breathing became easier.

He slowly reached out an arm and held my paw. There was a short fizzle of something that made me gasp. He seemed to jump and then continue staring at me as if trying to figure something out.

Silas, before the mountain.

The voice from the darkness was back, there was something pushing in the back of my skull. The paw that wasn't holding Rykers' grabbed at the back of my head.

As I slowly reached out with my mind to the ache in the back of my head I was immediately thrown into a memory I didn't know I had.

-MEMORY-

"Silas, come here." my dads voice called.

I watched as my nine year old self ran up to the man he adored most and tried to climb up his leg.

"Stop that. Stand still. Let me get you into the car." his tone had taken on a dark turn and when he talked like that i knew to stand still and listen.

He lifted me into the car and buckled me in before he too jumped in and began driving.

The memory shifted and we were now in a forest. The trees towered over the car I was standing next to and shrouded everything in shadows. The sun had set not long ago.

"Silas." I looked up at my dad confused as to why we were here. "We are going to play a little game okay?" I nodded vigorously. I loved games. "You remember how to play hide and seek yeah? Well I'm going to count to 60 and you need to go hide okay? Find a really good spot"

Dad started counting and I ran as fast as my legs could carry me to find a hiding spot, not thinking it was strange that he brought us out here so late and that I could faintly hear the truck starting and reversing.

I watched my younger self wait and wait and wait. It was dark and the sun had now long since set and the clouds were rolling through the night sky. Finally he creeped out of his hiding spot in the leaf litter and tried to find his way back to his father. He screamed for hours trying to find him. His feet bleeding from running on the rough ground. His face tear stained.

At some point he changed into his small bear form and tried to track his fathers scent but he couldn't track a man in a moving vehicle.

The memory seemed to move in fast forward then of young silas slowly becoming more bear than human and fighting for his life on the mountain he would call home for several long harsh years. His bear had forgotten why he couldn't leave this mountain.

The secret hopes that his father would return and pick him back up causing an attachment to the place he would call home until Ryker would save him and take him to his home.

-MEMORY OVER-

"Well done Silas." a voice called, i spun around to figure out where it came from and there was a woman standing behind me. She was beautiful. Long flowing black hair and the shiniest silver eyes. She was wearing a long silver and blue gown that flowed behind her and fizzled into smoke as she walked towards me.

"You deserved better than that my child and I'm sorry I couldn't save you." she frowned sadly at me,

"Who are you?"

She laughed softly before smiling at me, "I am the creator. I have many names and will have many more. But you may call me Lutana."

I looked back down at the memory that was still playing over and over below us, "Why did he leave me?" I asked barely above a whisper.

"That is a complicated story, young one. When you were born your mother died. Your father tried to push through the hurt and shame he had of letting his mate die but never quite pushed through those thoughts. So he took you away, left you on that mountain and met your mum again."

"He died?"

"He did, but he didn't want that same fate for you, in his own way he cared about you but there were definitely better ways to go about things and I'm sorry you had to go through this Silas. It is, however, time for you to return. Your alpha is starting to lose his hold on his wolf that you are unresponsive."

"But I have so many things I want to ask?" I exclaimed but already she was fading from view, her silvery glow blinding me.

I was pulled from the memory and took a deep breath startling Ryker.

"Bear?! Are you okay? What happened?" Rykers voice was shaking and he seemed to be checking me over for injuries that weren't there.

"Silas." i whispered, "My name is Silas"