*Britain, as his children and grandchildren cause chaos and ruin his house. Oklahoma set off a twister, that dragged the gasoline up to the atmosphere, and now its coming down. One fire. At his house.*
Britain: I've come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck
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*Britain educating his grandkids on how to de-escalate anything*
Britain: You can de-escalate any situation by simply saying, 'Are we about to kiss?'
Britain: Doesn't work for getting out of speeding tickets, by the way.
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*British Empire standing over a beaten China*
Britain: If I'm really as evil as you say I am, then have the gods strike me down where I stand.
*Lightning strikes Britain*
Britain: Ha! Nice try, jackass! Next time, give it your A-game!
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*Australia asked Britain to help him in his war against the Emus*
Britain: Physically, yes, I could fight a bird. But emotionally? Imagine the toll.
*He did help his son after a weird and awkward conversation about fighting birds*
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*Britain after America sent him the Declaration of Independence*
Britain: Well, well, well... if it isn't my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.
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*Britain comforting a sad Alaska whos black clothes got made fun of*
Britain: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is typically a good response.
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*Britain talking to England after France won a fight*
Britain: If you can't beat her, dress better than her
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*Third Reich coming to try and negotiate the terms of Britain joining him in WWII and realizing the myths of the Brit Great family were true. They ARE all mad*
Britain: I'm going to defeat you with the power of friendship! ... And this knife I found.
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*Britain standing over a beaten China (AGIN DUDE, REALLY)*
Britain: You seem familiar, have I threatened you before?
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*British Empire 'talking' to India after the great mutiny*
Britain: Fool me once, I'm gonna kill you
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*Teen age Britain in 500 AD sassing England*
Britain: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
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*Britain before his morning tea, and Scotland asks him a question*
Britain: People are always asking me if I'm a morning person or a night person.
Britain: And I'm just like, 'Buddy! I'm barely even a PERSON!'