Katniss tortured

Katniss

Katniss PoV

I wake up I'm all alone. The doctors had saved me again, they must be very annoyed with me because I need almost attention 24/7. I've been here for about one or two weeks and I've tried to commit suicide twice now. If I'm a pain in their ass why don't they let me die. I want to see the president of this district and ask the question why do they keep me alive. I know there is a one way window on my left so I smile towards it hoping that Peeta would be there. A doctor comes in and gives me some food and water. They're on their way out that's when I say can you tell the receptionist I don't want any visitors. The doctor nods and walks out. I started eating my food to get it over with because it tasted terrible. I start mumbling to myself all I know. I tell myself I don't know the answer if someone said the opposite thing than the Capitol.

- My name is Katniss Everdeen, I'm seventeen years old, no wait am I seventeen or am I eighteen. I don't know anymore. I'm from district 12. District 12 was bombed. I don't know if I'm the reason. I love Peeta. I don't know if Peeta loves me. My mother is dead, I don't know if I'm the reason. War is starting and thousands will die. I don't know if I'm the reason, I'm not the reason, I am the reason. I AM THE REASON! I yell and This time I take two syringes and put both of them in my heart. The heart machine beeps so loudly and then I hear my heart line go flat. Probably around ten doctors comes rushing in trying to get me back to life. I can only hear my surroundings. Peeta comes rushing in even though I said no visitors. I guess he already heard what happened. I hope they fail. I can feel them trying to shock my heart back into working. The shocks reminds me of the Capitols torture. I wake up the first time and starts to hyperventilate instead. The doctors calms me down but it doesn't work. Peeta walks up to me and starts to whisper in my ear.

- Don't worry Katniss, you're safe from the Capitol you're safe from Snow. He says and then leaves because of my request. 

His voice was so calm I fall asleep directly. I wake up in the middle of night. They have taken my restraints of thinking that I can't really do anything while I'm asleep. But I always wake up and there's a voice in my head telling me to do it. It's hard to withstand it, it's a very persuasive voice. Tonight like every night I use all of my energy and strength to make it shut up. That's why the mutt always pops up in the day because I'm too tired to fight it every single second. I may fight now for Peeta cause he said he needs me but the mutt has infinite energy from all of the poison running through my body. The team of doctors haven't even tried to take some of my poison out of my body. The poison always hurts me but I've gotten used to it at this point. If any normal person would experience this pain every second for two straight weeks they would also want it all to be over, but nobody listens to me. I fall asleep just some seconds later and the as normal a doctor comes in and puts my restraints back, gives me breakfast and more. I ask once again to have no visitors the doctor accepts it but looks a bit skeptic because of what happened yesterday. It has been an hour of just straight thinking about all the moments in my life when I had no problems. I missed all of those times. I hear someone scream far away almost at the reception. It's Peeta who's screaming that he needs to see me. I can hear some guards screaming at him aswell to get out. He sprints past them and goes inside my hospital room. I look at him with a confusing look. Why would he be sprinting to get to me. 

- I'm fine Peeta. You can leave I like my alone time. I say to him.

- No Katniss. Last time I left you alone you stabbed yourself twice with two different syringes. You're blood is not even red it was orange-brownish and black type of blood. He said.

- It's the venom Peeta. It hurts so bad but I've gotten used to it. The venom fuels the mutt so in some seconds or minutes or hours or days until it overpowers me. Without me I would be already dead. I say back to him

- Katniss you can still not die. You have been able to fight the mutt of so many times already you need to fight it off for a bit longer until they figure out how to get the venom out of your blood without taking the blood out. Peeta says to me.

- I still don't want to fight Peeta. It hurts so bad every second. I'm never gonna to be able to walk again because of my legs Peeta. It's not fun anymore. I miss the outside, fresh air and hunting. Mostly just using a bow and arrow. I've asked doctors if I could go and train a bit but they wont let me. The training room has to many weapons that I could use in my advantage. I say back to Peeta.

- You need to keep fighting Katniss, you dead is what the Capitol wants. The poison may hurt but you know what hurts more. Seeing the Capitol win this war. Peeta says back to me. 

- I know but if I'm the one that started the spark to make this war it feels wrong to not be a part of it. You know I want to fight Snow. If I get better I'm the one who get's to kill him. But right before I kill him he will see what he did to me. He will see me in a wheelchair he will see all the scars left on me. I might even have a relapse and kill myself instead. So thank you for trying to help me Peeta but I'm too broken. Can you leave now I want some privacy. I say and try to smile so it wont sound mean.

- Okay. Don't do anything foolish Katniss. Peeta says.

I nod and he walks out of the room I finally open the drawer where I've hidden the pearl I got from Peeta. I don't want him to know that I have it because then he will bring back memories from my second Hunger Games and I just want to forget about it all.

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Hewo