Katniss

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Katniss PoV

Snow just left the room and the doctor saying that she was meant to keep me alive takes the first dose of venom and fear conditioning. She takes all of the three syringes with the orange color and stab me in my neck. I start to dose of and then picture's starting to pop up in my head. It's children, women and men dying and screaming that it's my fault. Bombs, dead people and people who starve screaming my name saying that it's my fault. It feels so real and I know it is. I'm the number one enemy. I need to die before I cause anyone else harm. I wake up after the doses and someone walks in with a mirror. Fear fills my eyes with darkness and they turn completly black. 

- MUTT, MUTT, GET THAT MUTT IN THE MIRROR AWAY FROM ME! I scream!

I see Snow through the window behind the mirror smiling. I feel a syringe in my arm and I black out. I wake up in my cell again. My head is bleeding, I think that they threw me into my cell in a worse way then possible. As I feel the wound I remember that all my hair is gone. I start to cry and I see Annie crawling to me.

- Well what was it this time Katniss? Annie says.

- Katniss, Katniss, Katniss!! THAT'S A MUTT'S NAME A MUTT A MUTT A MUTT'S NAME. DON'T EVER SAY THAT NAME TO ME!!!! I scream out. She backs away as she sees my eyes fill with darkness. 

I stab myself with the pen Snow gave to me. I stabbed myself in my heart. I also released some of the inc seeing if that would help me to die faster. The pen didn't really reach my heart but the machine telling them if I'm about to die beeps so fast as it scared me aswell. I see a doctor running in and I say something to Annie before I pass out again.

- It'll be better this way Annie. I don't want to fight anymore. I say just before blacking out. 

I wake up and I'm strapped down to a chair. I'm angry that I'm strapped down. I want to reach to the closest weapon and take my life. I just cause pain and suffering, why do they let me live. It's almost just torture letting me live at this point. 

- My dear Miss Everdeen. You can't die yet. We will need you to do an interview tomorrow. Because your husband has just done a propo and he has started a new era of the rebellion. If you want to see it here it is. Snow says.

The television is filling and I'm crying as I'm reminded of his beautiful blue eyes and his perfect jawline. I love him but he probably doesn't love me back. In the propo they showed some parts of district 12. District 12 was bombed. I sense the darkness coming into my eyes as I know that the bombings were my fault. 

- It's my fault isn't it Snow. I say.

- Yes it is Miss Everdeen. But it's the rebels fault mostly, that's why we need to stop the rebellion before any other lives are costed because of you. Snow says back to me.

I nod as my second torture session has just begun. The first half was the same like the first session, whippings, shocks and drownings. As the fourth part comes it's the same as drowning and being shocked in the water. For the fifth I get burnt all over my body and lastly I keep getting punched and kicked everywhere. I feel that my nose is worse than last time. Even though I thought it was broken at that moment it was just a big damage which healed pretty quickly. But this time it's defiently broken. Probably half of my ribcage bones are broken and back is very hurt and sore. After that I get dragged into my cell and thrown back into the same corner I'm always in. Annie as usual comes back to me.

- Katniss. You look totally broken, I heard your screams. It was painful to listen to you scream for two entire hours. So what happened this time? Annie asks.

- Why do you want to know? I ask.

- Well you kinda became one of my best friends after we spent all this time in pain together. She says and puts a smile on her face.

- Okay I'll tell you. First it was fifty whippings, as usual the blood went everywhere. Then secondly shocks, thirdly drowning. Now that is half of the second session. The half off the second session was the same as the first session. I guess one plus one is equal to two. The fourth was drowning and then they shocked me inside of the water. It kinda hurt really badly. Fifth I was burnt all over my body, you can probably see it all over my body and face. Lastly they punched and kicked me. I think the broke some of my ribcage and hurt my back. They also broke my nose. Oh that reminds me. I say to her and she looks in confusion over how easy I said to her. The thing the nose reminded me of was that I put it back in place.

- Oh you can't forget the interview I'm about to do tomorrow. I still don't know how they will be covering all my burns, scars and bruises. Other than all of that I'm fine. But I wish I wasn't. I say to Annie.

- Like we always tell you Katniss. You're a fighter and that's why you need to continue fighting. You can rest once this is all over. Annie says back.

- No I need to die soon, I'm the reason that they bombed my district, district 12. I'm the reason thousands are dying maybe even the reason that millions have already died. The sooner I die the better. I say back to her.

I start to hyperventilate and my eyes turn black.

- IM A MUTT, A MUTT, A MUTT, A MUTT MADE FROM THE CAPITOL TO MAKE PEOPLE SUFFER, MUTT, MUTT, MUTT, MUTT. KATNISS, I'M KATNISS. I'M KATNISS THE MUTT!!! I scream out and the machine beeps once again and the doctor runs in and calms me down, my eyes turn back to being grey. 

Annie goes back to me but I ask her to leave me alone. I just sit in my corner singing one of my songs.

- Are you, are you coming to the tree
Where they strung up a man
They said who murdered three

Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree

Are you, are you coming to the tree
Where a dead man called out
For his love to flee

Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree

Are you, are you coming to the tree
Where I told you to run 
So we'd both be free

Strange things did happen here
No stranger would it be
If we met at midnight in the hanging tree 

Are you, are you coming to the tree
Where the necklace of rope
Side by side with me

I didn't remember the rest so I just repeated that same phrase of the song for the rest of the time until I feel asleep. I slept for a long time because I havn't done it before. This time there were no nightmares. I was happy that I had the ability to sleep but when I woke up some peacekeepers dragged me to the room where they were going to make me get ready for the interview. I heard some peacekeepers talking outside of the room. 

- I'm glad Snow has decided to bomb 13. It might stop the rebellion if they're all dead. I hear one of the peacekeepers say.

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Hewo


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