Redo at past mistakes

Chapter 5- The consequences of lies

Things seemed to be going perfectly fine, but that was always when things went wrong.

The day started nicely with warm air rushing through the windows and the bright sun shining down. The birds were chirping in the parks and the busy city noise of the waking morning could be heard from afar. A sweet scent of coffee and baked goods drifted from the local cafes, officially setting the scene for the beginning of the day. All appeared just like any average morning. Dazai was busy enjoying his early morning breakfast, having gone through the effort of making it himself,  and was allowing Akutagawa the luxury of sleeping in as an additional reward for yesterday's achievement. All seemed well but even Dazai could attest that something was off. There was an unpleasant coldness lurking between the air, hiding in the cracks of normalcy. It seeped into one's bones filling them with an unbearable sense of unease yet there was no sign for its cause. Even with Dazai skeptically analysing his surroundings, everything still appeared normal. Normalcy was usually a good sign but sometimes it acted as a warning bell for future troubles and Dazai was just waiting for the penny to drop and the facade to crumble, revealing the terrors that were awaiting.

For now, however, Dazai was going to enjoy his seaweed and self-made miso soup (not as good as his husband's sadly) and relax into the blissful peacefulness of the morning. The uneasiness could be dealt with later; if the morning bliss was fated to eventually crumble into disaster, he might as well relish in the calm, serenity while it lasted and instead just wait for the penny to drop and act when it does. In the meantime Dazai shall delight in his peace while it makes its uneventful descent to the ground. It wasn't often the man got to enjoy such pleasurable peace, especially not alone. Although his husband's company would surely still be pleasurable and perhaps bring the day to greater heights, but being alone in itself,  especially a moment filled with peace instead of the monsters in his head, was a rarity. Usually at this time he'd either be failing to drown himself in the river or trying his best to avoid paperwork while Kunikida yelled his lungs out before he'd subsequently be sent on a case or Atsushi, bless his soul, managed to convince him to do the paperwork in turn for him doing him some of it as well. It wasn't much but it was his routine and one he'd grown to enjoy. Even as time has gone by, the routine became much healthier with his suicide attempts decreasing by a substantial amount. Over the years, Dazai's managed to create a more positive daily life filled with chaotic situations surrounded by companions who loved him and it was something he couldn't be more proud of. Still, a break was always a delightful experience.

Sitting in the warm sunshine on the penthouse terrace, while the cool breeze ran through his hair was a deeply relaxing moment in time.  As the waves of the wind washed over him, Dazai could feel his worries be pulled away, allowing him to truly appreciate the day to its fullest extent. Being here at this tranquil time, though it was no more spectacular than anywhere else in the world, with it being just a mundane thing, Dazai felt extremely lucky and joyful to be in this moment of time. It was like a small piece of peace was contained in his apartment and made privy only to him, specially made. The birds chirping, the sun shining, the air drifting, the sweet scents and even the manic chaos of Yokohama all came together to make the perfect day... but still that unease remained. No matter how hard he tried to ignore it, the awful feeling continued to poke at his mind like an itch that wouldn't go away. It became ever-present and overbearing and anyone would just wish it would vanish. It was unpleasant and soured the peace he was trying to enjoy, and what was worse, it felt as if he was to blame for the misfortune he was soon to face. At this point he'd take any distraction possible and that was when Dazai remembered Akutagawa was still sleeping. It certainly seemed like a good time to wake him up. Without thinking, the man jumped from his feet and sped over to the bedroom door not waiting long to gently push it open... before freezing in his tracks.

The penny had dropped!

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Hours passed, days passed, years! In actuality only a few minutes had passed but Dazai couldn't care less. In that brief time he managed to turn his home upside down in searching with no luck in finding the one thing of top priority; the one thing of urgent care which could not be found; the one thing that was his responsibility was nowhere to be found. Akutagawa was missing! When Dazai opened the bedroom door, he was surprised to see the room in the exact same state as when they tucked the kid in last night. The clothes were in the same space, the bags were still sat next to the bed, even the duvet was in the exact same position and the only thing missing was the kid who was supposed to be sleeping peacefully beneath them. Somehow, in the blink of an eye,  he had managed to lose a whole fourteen year old child and had no idea where he may be. If this was even just a slightly older Akutagawa, Dazai may have an idea of some possible hiding spots in the Mafia territory, but no, this was an Akutagawa from before the Mafia and because his stupid young self never took the time to get know the kid, Dazai barely knew where to start. His brief time with the younger version of his subordinate had only managed to fill in a tiny speck of that unknown void and there could be multitude of other places that could be safe to the kid that Dazai would have no idea about. To top it all off, this was modern day Yokohama not the city of the past, and a lot has changed over the years which Akutagawa didn't know, so even if the boy did go to any of these location he could've ended up lost, henceforth making all attempts at heading to those places futile because Akutagawa may not even be there. This whole situation felt very hopeless.