『CHAINSAW MAN ONE SHOTS! || cendriilon』

Aki - U

*Songfic series: MANNEQUIN, Deco*27
Inspired by the lyrics of: U

U

[Description: "My booming heart is heating, killing me.", "With you my world is now breaking through.", & "You're my receiver."]

Aki x Reader

<!Major Character Death!>

-

[1]

'Dear Aki,

I don't really plan on giving you these letters at all, well... maybe you'll just find it or something! I'd rather die than tell you how I feel.

I've been told to write these by a few friends to get a few things off my chest. Like a diary? Except they're all aimed towards you! Because you're the person I care the most about.

After we met, my life has gotten a little bit better. When I heard you got hurt during the whole Gun Attack, I wanted to die. Because without you, I would be nothing. I really like you, how can I express that to you without exactly saying it?

I don't know yet, but I'll figure it out! I always do.

So.. I wonder if you like me?'

-

The note was nothing special, only something small to express your surface level feelings. You folded it nicely and shoved it into a drawer. You felt a little better, but... you were lying in that note.

If you really were scared that Aki was going to die, you would have visited him. Yet you didn't.

However, you did see him the moment he was discharged, but it was only out of sheer luck. You just happened to pass by, you bowed your head and made your way around him. You didn't wait long enough to see if he reciprocated your act.

Maybe you should've.

-

[3]

'Dear Aki,

You initiated our conversation first today! That was so nice... you smelt like cigarettes, which is gross, but that's okay. It's you. Everyone has their flaws, but in this industry... it's normalized and everyone thinks it's okay! So I guess I think it's okay too!

This sounds bad, but I don't really remember what we were talking about. Maybe it was about devils? Or— was I supposed to be doing something? Maybe you were scolding me, I guess it just slipped my mind after you left, sorry about that.

But we went out to lunch together! I thought it was really fun, we talked a bunch! And this time, it wasn't even all about work, some personal stuff too... I'm sure it's because you just lost Himeno. I don't want to be her replacement, but if you want me to be someone like that, I'll change. Just for you.

You make my heart beat so fast... what am I supposed to do? I feel like... if I'm away from you for too long my heart will stop working completely! Is that bad? Maybe I should distance myself from you just to make sure I'll live.

Everyday, whenever I see you, my smile gets a tad bit wider. I hope you notice it. Unless you find it creepy or weird, then please don't notice it.

I wonder if you feel the same.'

-

Aki was the one who started the conversation that time. There was no one else in the room but you two.

"[name]?" It was Aki's voice, he's so soothing...

"Mm, yeah?" Your voice cracked, you mentally punched yourself by grabbing your arm quickly and digging your nails into your skin. This was the first time you talked to him in ages! How could your body betray you like that?