Holly

Scales

I feel raw and cold. My bones are exposed and something sharp is stabbing into them.

My hand reaches out of the cloud of darkness and pain. I feel the coarse earth as I struggle to drag myself out of the puddle.

Drag... because I don't have legs.

I can hear Kaia panicking not too far away. She sounds like she is hyperventilating, and I really wish I could console her.

Instead, I am too busy dealing with this ravaging hunger and anger in my stomach. I feel wild, untamable, but weak at the same time. I can't control the urge to rip into something.

Another wave of pain hits me, and I feel my teeth grow sharp.

A thud lands next to me and I hear Kaia say something.

"Arias... she can't... I don't under..."

The pain in my body mellows out when I feel strong arms pick me up and begin to carry me somewhere. Even though I am in his arms, I feel the tip of my...not my legs but my tail drag on the ground.

The earth turns to sand and then I feel the cool of the ocean. My eyes are still clenched shut in pain. Behind my eyelids all I see is hot red.

"Holly..." his voice is cool and almost calming. "I don't know what is happening." He sounds lost and I want nothing more than to hold him.

The water splashes around us and I can feel him shift against me. I realize why he is bringing me to the ocean.

I need the ocean.

As soon as my head submerges, the pain fades. Instead, it is replaced with rage and malice. I can't see anything other than blood.

I swing my claws at Arius's face, and he shoves me away.

"Holly, stop it!"

I feel a tear slip out of my eye as I try to gouge out his eyes again. I don't want to, but something is controlling me.

"I'm sorry", I hear him whisper before the air is knocked from my lungs.

I feel the coarse ocean floor on my back as I slide across the bottom.

I look up and see Arius over me with a look of pain on his face.

My body shoves itself off the ocean floor and launches me towards him, claws bare.

He swings his tail, and the ocean slams me to the ocean floor again. A scream of rage escapes my lips and I go for him again.

He grabs me by my arms and shoves me back to the ocean floor. "Snap out of it!"

I scream again and try to hit him with my tail. He is much stronger and has a clearer mind than me, so he easily pins me to the floor.

"Holly, please. Fight it!"

My body slows and for a second, I feel that I am gaining control. My eyes blink and I can finally see the fear in his eyes.

"Arius?" My voice comes out small.

Then an image of my father's brain matter on the dashboard clouds my mind.

Blood, blood, more blood. All I see is blood. The sharp metal sticking out of my dad's gut. The pink string hanging from his stomach.

I scream again and this time, my claws leave a deep gash in Arius's neck.

He yells in pain and loosens his grip on me. I feel myself preparing for the kill.

NO!

My claws swing but this time, I redirect them. For a second of control, I let them sink into my own arm.

As the pain flashes through my body, images of my dad's body and lifeless eyes flashes through me. The water tastes like copper just like the air smelled that day.

My mind clears for a second and one phrase goes over in my head.

"A sacrifice."

My dad's head laying at an odd angle flashes through my mind again. Something isn't right. These are not real memories. My dad's chest was crushed but nothing else. The memories are not accurate. 

It is all clear now.

"Arius!" I force my eyes open, and I see him hovering a few feet from me. His hand is on his neck but eyes are focused on the gash in my arm.

I try to speak but a hiss escapes my lips instead. I try again and this time it is mixed with muddled words.

His eyes leave my arm and he makes eye contact. "What?"

"I have to let..." I struggle to get the rest of the words out. I pray that he has figured it out too.

This is my sacrifice.

A surge of pain runs through me, and I scream. My vision clouds with a storm of red and black. Agony is black and red, thick and fluid, stinging and stifling.

I feel water rush around me as my body moves on its own. I'm afraid of what it is doing as my mind flushes away into the darkness that has haunted me for a year.

The leather seat feels real. The blood running down my forehead feels hot. My head pounds as I struggle to turn it.

In the driver's seat is my dad. His chest is now open, and everything is on display. Something is toying with my mind, making my trauma flare up and see things that never happened.

He is choking on his blood and his gurgling rings in my ears. "Oh my God!" I reach across the seat and pause, trying to think of a way to help. Panic rises in my chest and I feel small, weak, stupid. He is dying in front of me. "Daddy, please! I don't know how to help!" My breaths become sharp and quick. Blood gurgles in his throat and the tears fall heavier.

"This isn't real. Your death was fast. This is all in my head." He coughs again and my hands continue to shake. I take a deep breath, trying to control my fear. "Dad..."

He spits and coughs as blood pours from his mouth.

"Dad, I'm sorry I've hung onto you for so long. I have to let you go now."

Tears flood my vision. Everything in me wants to hold on and never let go of him. Never let go of what has been haunting me and tormenting me.

The pain in my chest grows stronger as I go against everything I have in me. Fear takes over my mind. What is my body doing while my mind is stuck here? What will happen when I return? If I ever return?

He continues his suffering in front of me. I am completely powerless. It is like I don't exist, and he is alone in his suffering.

"Dad, mom and I will be fine. I have to let you move on." I know he isn't actually with me. "I have to make myself move on." I squeeze my eyes shut as tears roll down my cheek.

The sputtering and moaning stops and everything becomes silent. I open my eyes and watch as my dad's head turns to me. His eyes are empty, but his mouth moves as unnatural words come out.

"I understand, Holly. I love you more than anything and I will always watch over you."

I let out a sob and close my eyes again. Relief. The weight on my shoulder begins to lift and I feel free.

"Do not rise gently from the grave."

"What?"

In a flash of light, my mind is sucked back to reality. I feel my body shaking, but my eyes are shut.

They are so heavy.

"HOLLY! Wake up, please!"

Upon his command, my eyes flutter open. Arius is holding me against his chest, begging me to wake up.

"Arius, I'm sorry but I couldn't feel a pulse", I hear Kaia say somewhere behind him.

His face is buried in my hair, and he can't see that I am awake. "That isn't true! You are lying!" he screams at Kaia.

"Arius", I whisper and reach my hand up to grab his arm. He gasps and pulls back to look at me. Tears and disbelief are in his deep blue eyes. "What happened?"

"Your heart stopped." He says in almost a whisper.

"It's okay. I'm awake now."

"Holly!" I turn my head to see Kaia kneeling beside Arius. Her face is wet with tears as she reaches out to hug me. "Thank God! Thank God!"

I swallow hard. "Did I hurt you?" I ask both of them.

"We are fine." Kaia responds.

I look at Arius's neck and see a faint line where the gash should have been. "What about Atticus?"

"He is fine as well." Kaia laughs and wipes a tear away, still hanging onto me.

"What about Ira?"

Silence.

"Ira! Is she okay?" I look up at Arius and he is silent. He looks as if he is trying to find the right words.

"Is she okay? Is Ira okay?"