Words for a Friend

solace

I think sometimes,
when I am alone at night,
when the house is still,
that I cannot be.

Sometimes, it's rather simple:
I think that I cannot be awake,
be writing, be reading,
be daydreaming about the stars.

Other times, I worry about myself.
I get these scares,
these big black talons
wrapped around my heart.

I shoo them away, of course;
I am not ready.
But still they persist,
nagging and nagging.

It's rather conceited of me,
I know,
to write you birthday poems about me,
my life, my struggles...

but sometimes, I think...
I think something needs to be said...
I think I deserve to scream and sob
in my own fashion.

I think... I think I should like it
if someone knew
that imaginations can be traps,
that my mind is my curse.

But only sometimes...
Only when I let it.
Perhaps, I shall
Conquer it.

(This is all of my poetry for you, Elizabeth. Thank you, darling, for being there for me and putting up with my insanity. You're an amazing friend, extremely inspiring, and a brilliant writer. I can't wait for book shops and aquariums.
Now it's boring and there's no rain.)