Words for a Friend

internal musings during the hour spent trapped in a crowded room

10:50

I hate watching
apes manipulate him
like a circus animal,
like a silly pet.

I hate the obsession
with zombie massacres;
don't they know,
zombies only want brains?

And why would an animal,
a silly little zombie,
go to a place
lacking their cravings?

10:59

Today,
I hate hate hate
crowds.

Today,
I'd like solitude
now.

Today,
I think I'll go away
(no
I
won't)

Today,
I think it will stop...
Maybe.

Yesterday,
I thought we were
fine.

Today,
I hate that they inspire me, hate
my quirks driving them away...solitude
never looked so sorrowful, but I
can't make it stop--
can't make things like they were.

11:04

my hands are covered
in the filth
of sticky keyboards, the germs
of my peers...
i cannot will it away;
i cannot keep my hands untainted.

why must i feel it, even when
touch is nonexistent
(between our grimy hands),
apathy reigns
(wedded to invisibility),
and my heart
a zombie,
hollow yet beating, is
trapped
in
the
wrong
body.

11:10

I met a mirror today;
he sat, legs outstretched, beside my desk,
moved out of my space barely, only as I approached,
and grumbled about ducks and dusks.

I met a mirror today;
double light-beams doubled still in those brown cow eyes,
voice deep flew high, words slurred and slithered--
imitation light cannot attract their source.

I met a mirror today;
he shines when people see--
yes, attention makes him glow,
it is a shame that, deep down--

I met a mirror today;
I saw the soul beneath the glass,
stared at it, until my eyes bled
and the mirror reflected nothing but darkness.

11:22

I don't like it
I want it off,
But every time I try
It swarms my skin
Like a lover long lost.
The keyboard is slimy
My hands are disgusting
But I
Cannot
Wash
It
Off.