𝐯 𝗼 𝐢 𝐜 𝐞 𝐬 [𝐡𝐲𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐱]

T|hirteen

why do people keep secrets?

is it to protect yourself, or others?

when felix started the first relapse of his eating disorder, the day a couple of months ago he starved himself for a whole day, he kept his secret of hurt to himself. but it wasn't so that he was safe, it was for that everyone around him can still enjoy a happy felix. nobody deserves to see him so low.

felix was not just sunshine to himself, he was another bright light too. he comforted others on bad days, he was the one that was always a good friend, to cheer people up after a bad day. he remembers when hyunjin was on hiatus, he was the only one that could make jinnie smile. or when they pranked seungmin on that one day, and he was the one to give the other a hug to make him feel better. or even when chan would sit up all night doubting himself, felix would be right by his side talking to him so he didn't feel lonely.

but it's all different now that the secret about his mental and physical health is bad. no, not just bad but devastated, absolutely wrecked. now it's felix whos the one on hiatus, not hyunjin. how it's seungmin that had to give him a big hug that day after his breakdown. and now, chan's not up because of his insomnia, he's up because he can't sleep knowing that there's a chance he won't see one of his kids tomorrow.

"we just want to talk about how you've been feeling lately," chan said with kind eyes. he's honestly had enough of felix keeping secrets but not in a bad way. he's so annoyed with himself that it took him so long to even talk to felix about what's been going on.

felix nodded his head and sat next to hyunjin on the couch, holding his hand. he squeezed hyunjin hand and hyunjin squeezed his right back, silently telling him that it was okay.

"is minho coming?" chan asked looking at hyunjin.

"yeah he needed a second to talk to jisung," hyunjin answered chan who nodded his head.

"so how have you been feeling lately felix?" changbin asked calmly.

"i- I've been good," felix stutters, he feels like he's having an intervention. well, he kind of is.

hyunjin looked at felix, "baby, this isn't an interrogation, were worried and we want to know what's happening so we can help,"

felix looked around at all of them, "but there is nothing for me to say,"

"felix," changbin said getting his attention, "we know you've been hurting yourself," his voice was solemn.

felix's eyes widened, "no I haven't, that's a lie!" he got defensive.

everyone looked at felix then minho came into the living room, "hyunjin can you come here for a second," hyunjin got up and felix saw they were going into his room.

while they were gone chan tried to reason with felix, "lix, no one is mad at you, you do not need to lie to us we want to help,"

hyunjin came back with minho and sat down next to felix again, it looked like he had something in his hand. minho goes and sits next to changbin.

"lixie, what is this?" felix watches as hyunjin opens his hand. it's a piece of glass with blood on it. felix never threw it away.

"hyung... where did you find that?" felix's voice was quiet.

felix just looked at the glass, and he saw nothing but shame, "hyung where did you find that?"

"we found it in your room felix, do you want to explain to us why it was in there?" minho said cautiously.

tears filled felix's eyes, he doesn't know what to do anymore. he knows he can't lie, it looks like minho and hyunjin already know that he cut himself again. felix feels so bad that he put all that pressure on jisung to lie for him.